How Many Do You Have????

 

Lost in Narration

This little, very unsophisticated blog began a long time ago as my own personal therapy to deal with a cross country move to a new life. It has some real highs and real lows. Lately, it's just been a quick post of pictures of fun things we've been doing or something I made. My soul has not been much engaged in thought. I didn't need to post deep and morose confessions because I didn't have any...I've been flying high over a new found creative outlet, the general ease of my children being old enough to survive if I am not on pointe, and our church reaching a kind of good-natured toddler stage instead of the scrawny infant it first was. Frankly, I've been pretty happy.

Wrecking your second car in a month has a somewhat jolting effect, not only on your musculature system, but also in your soul. I think I would be remiss if I didn't take the time to think this over.

I have not been much inclined to play the "what if" game. I don't normally drive that road. I don't normally have C on that side of the car. I don't always take the time to make sure her seatbelt is on correctly. I seldom drive when Robb is in the car. I've never been in a serious wreck before. I've never rolled a car, set off the airbag or attracted the attention of an ambulance. But for all that, I have the weird sense that it was all pre-ordained. Destined. That I merely played out what was supposed to happen. I cannot explain why I feel that way, but I feel it deeply. And it is strangely comforting.

I recently told H that I have not been myself. For a while now, I have merely existed in the confines of my life, with a lack of awareness for what is happening. I have just been phoning it in as a wife and mother...getting by with the least amount of effort. Lost in play, distraction, and synthetic experiences. But I think I am waking up.

The first thing I see is how bad I really am. The stark truth that I am selfish to the core. And I am needy. Our little stockpiled savings account that had me feeling so smug will be gutted soon. I am vulnerable. My life is a mere blip on the screen and the time I am given each day is the great equalizer of us all. I feel no confidence that I can change any of this. I lack the emotional energy to do anything differently. But I feel hopeful. That somehow, like my mosaic china, broken is better. Imperfect and chipped is easier to use than impervious and perfect.

So broken toe, four prescriptions between Robb and I, scraped neck, bruised and sore, 2nd wrecked car in a month, savings sucked dry... I'm listening God. Can you do something with me?

Guilty

Another flaw in the human character is that everybody wants to build and nobody wants to do maintenance.
Kurt Vonnegut

Oops, I did it again

 
 
 
 

Yup. I rolled the Jeep.

Took hubby with a raging strep infection to the doctor yesterday. We dropped his prescription off at the pharmacy just in time to go pick up the kids from school, since the weather had turned ugly. Most of the day, it had been a muggy mid 70's day, but while we waited in the clinic, the temp dropped about 20 degrees and it rained sheets. But it had stopped by the time we left the store.

I had opted to take the Jeep since it still had that "new car" feel to me. For some reason, I took the time to fix Charleigh's car seat belt to fit correctly. For some reason.

Since three o'clock traffic is pretty heavy, we took a back road to the school. It is very narrow with no shoulder, and there is a 90 degree curve on a slope. Coming out of the curve, we hydroplaned to the right where there were several large trees and a fence. Instinctively, I yanked the wheel to the left, where the tires must have caught and we dashed into the ditch, setting off Robb's airbag as the car slowly, it seemed, rolled to its side.

Completely dumbfounded, I screamed, "What do we do?" as we struggled with our seatbelts. Charleigh was screaming in terror in the back seat, and immediately, the car was surrounded with helpful bystanders, trying to pry open the moonroof, or the back hatch. Nobody knows how to open the hatch but me. Robb was able to find the phone, and help push me out of my window, which I climbed out of and jumped to the ground, minus a flip-flop. That was a lot farther than I expected it to be. I was singularly determined to get Charleigh out and see for myself if she was ok. I don't remember unclipping her, or Robb finally being able to extricate himself from the weird angle the seatbelt held him in.

Once I had Charleigh in my arms and could see that she was not bleeding, I fell apart. Robb, completely present, made three calls: first to A, to ask him to get the kids from school. Next to the school, to tell them A was coming. And last to 911. The firetrucks were there before he finished the call. An EMT emerged from the cars that had arrived on the scene and she took me to her car, wrapped me in a blanket and told me to stop crying so I wouldn't scare Charleigh. So I did. What an absolute relief to have someone take charge. Sue was very helpful and I was deeply grateful to her.

Sometime in the blur of the next hour, Robb and the police officers pushed to car upright and Robb was nearly successful backing it out of the ditch. The tow-truck arrived just then and made the final pull to get it out of the deep ditch. An ambulance arrived to check Charleigh's tummy and the bruises from the seatbelt on her neck. Although frightened at first, she quickly came to herself and began to charm everyone with her bright smile and her declaration, "I'm Cholly!" The police took the report and issued no citations, even though we had not yet done any of the paperwork on the car, or even called the insurance company to take the Aztek off the policy, let alone set up insurance for the Jeep. This had me flipping out completely until Robb called the insurance company to confirm that we had coverage for the officer's report. They will cover it. Where do I sign up for a Geico commercial? Because they were great. We drove the Jeep home.

Today, we are sore. I have a bruise on my knee which must have hit the dash. Robb has a bizzarre bruise on his leg which we can't figure out what it is. And Charleigh has scratch bruises on her neck from the seatbelt. I'm guessing the Jeep is totalled, but we'll deal with that later.

I don't know what I think. I don't know what I feel. I just want to be very still. The Police officer told me, "Ma'am, I don't want you to be afraid to drive. Just try to take this and learn from it the best you can."

Farm Friends Event

 
 
 
 
Saw this on the Life+Kids blog and thought the kids would get a kick out of seeing the animals...Charleigh just loved the baby "cheeks." Vin was amused by trying to get the sheep to bleet at him. And Mattie is my country girl who just wanted to take home all the animals, especially the ponies. Dad wanted to take home an animal too...preferably in one pound packages marked "STEAK."

The event was free and they served cornbread and brown beans from a giant black cauldron with lemonaide and icecream to boot...and it was all FREE!

 
 
 
 

Insomnia Rides Again

Well, I think it's going on three weeks now that I have been experiencing a new round of insomnia. Last night, when I awakened at 1:30, I decided to just ride it out and made myself a bag of popcorn while catching up on tivo'd episodes of ER and Antiques Roadshow. Around 4, I drifted off again. And don't blame it on coffee, because I didn't even finish the pot yesterday, though, I'm almost certain I will today. Sleep and sunshine...how we miss them when they are gone!

Home Studios

It's always good to find out you are not alone.

Mattie's Cinquain Poem

Tornado
Windy, Bad
Crying, falling, crashing
Not a good thing
Wind Storm

First Grade Rodeo Show

 
 
 
 
Here's Vin's class at their rodeo theme show. He surprised us by being one of the kids who told a joke to get the night going (note how unprepared the camera was). He also dazzled us with his Do si doe...he has mad square-dancing skills!

Weekend Project

 

With forty dollars, and a dream, I transformed this formerly tattered vanity dresser into a desk for my uber-artistic first born (who peppered recent posts this morning with comments that appeared with my name whilst I slept). Since the top refused to be painted (oh, that gives me an idea....) I decided to practice my decoupage (that's how it's spelled, Bobb) skills (not as cool as bowstaff and nunchuck skills, but I digress...a lot). Anyway, the forty dollars, you can see, was spent on the desk, etc., while the dream is that it will help the girls to keep their room clean. Mattie declared it was better than anything that could be bought in a store, and I took that as the highest compliment.

Take Me out to the Ballgame!

Well thanks to A, we got to go to a Razorbacks' baseball game today. As you can see, the day couldn't have been more perfect for a couple of hours rooting for the Hogs. They pulled out thee win in an extra inning against the Tennessee Vols. Pig Soooo-ie! 
 
 
 

 
 
 
 

-isms fast and furious...

This morning, the kids, in typical Saturday morning fashion, piled on our bed. Usually, one of them figures out that we are awake and they holler till the other ones join them. So there we are all piling in, and Charleigh flops on Daddy and then begins to squirm because she is on the morote (you know, that thing Daddy uses to turn up the volume on Sports Center).

"How is your head, Chuck?" asks Daddy. Vin accidentally knocked the ladder off Mattie's bunk bed onto Chuck's head, causing a good size cut that of course, bled like mad, but ultimately, was fine without stitches.

"I'm glad she didn't get a conclusion!" says Mattie emphatically.

"Mom, we wanted to watch tv, but it was turned off on the power strip." says Vin. This causes Charleigh to inquire multiple times, "But Mom, WHY did you plug off the tv?"

Moments later, a tray appears with Mattie's latest culinary experiment. It is obviously pancakes from a mix. "The look a little weird." Mattie confesses. But they are not burnt or underdone and since they came to our bedroom with no butter, syrup or forks, we simply roll them up and pop them in our mouths.

"Mmmm! These are good!" we reassure Mattie.
"Well, I mostly followed the directions." she admits. "But I know you always put an egg in, so I put one in too, even the though the box didn't say to."

Yup, with a start like this, how could we help but have a great day???

HAPPY BIRTHDAY POOKIE

Can't tell you how much I love this guy...thanks for being my big brother. I'm never old as long as I have you to be older : )

Basking in the Glow of Charleigh

I have crushes on all my children. My heart literally skips a beat at them. My firstborn is as a wholesome as a home-cooked meal. And my second born was created in urgency and remains there to this day. But this little brown baby that came to us one day by phone-call, she is a surprise package. With your biological children, you thrill or growl at yourself in them. You have moments when you know what they are thinking by virtue of the fact that their very material is the same as yours. But with this child, you feel adventure and wonder every day. If you ever wonder if you could love an adopted child like you would a biological one, the answer is you won't. You'll love them in a completely wondrous and different way. It is like falling in love. This Charleigh-Brown-Eyed-Girl of mine, spills giggles and beams of light on everything. From her muddy "PUT-Prints" to her pouty lips when big sister won't share the "Woman Woman" (that Wonder Woman for you mere mortals) from her watering flowers singing "Here Comes the Sun" to her explanation about her Possibilities (or responsibilities for us less positive people), from her cheerful, "I can handle it Mom!", to her sage, "That stuffed amimal has issues", from "comfuters" to "Oky Dokey, Cauliflower!" yes, it's love.

Say Hello to My Jeep!

 
 
 

Introducing Etsy

If you have not heard of it before, Etsy is an online marketplace for handmade items. It is uber-fresh and cool. And I'm not just saying that because I opened my own Etsy shop yesterday.

It's not like Ebay...because quite frankly, it is FUN. It's like real shopping. Beware if you follow the link..you may be tempted to spend hours there just looking at all the pretties. And by all means, try out the geo-locater because that's just cool.

Tell a friend!

Playing Church

 
 
 
Hmm....clearly the custodian needs to address the carpets...I'll be calling the hospitality committee, the Ladies' Aid and the trustee board...and maybe the deacon board too.

 
 

Oh, wait...I guess since this church is only the size of a fruit crate, I can clean it up myself.

The Connor Street Baptist Church of Joplin, Missouri....pre-renovations, of course.