Hello 19 Year Old Me...and Goodbye

This morning, I stopped at my local coffee shop for a bracing cup of coffee and a small bite to eat.  The truth is, I had just had my first mammogram, and I was feeling a little shaky.  I was pretty sure it was all fine and I had nothing to worry about, but life is nothing if not unpredictable.

While I was waiting, I turned to see a group of young, beautiful people.  They had small tattoos tastefully applied to various parts of their strong, healthy bodies, and unnecessarily-large glasses framing their bright, shiny faces.  And under their strong arms were thick, leather-bound Bibles.  It was clear that they were meeting together for Bible study, like dozens of other people who frequent this coffee shop.  In fact, it is so overtly Christian there that I leave my laptop and purse when I use the bathroom or fetch a re-fill because the chances of theft are slightly less likely than snow in Arkansas in June.  If the coffee wasn't so dang good, I would choose a different coffee shop just to get out of the baptized oxygen of that place.

As I watched them gather up, earnestly greeting each other, watching the door for later arrivals, with their intentionality fairly spilling on the floor, I half expected to see my 19 year old self among them. Truly, if a tan and toned, long-haired brunette had come through the door with a giant Study Bible wearing a leather ankle bracelet which I made at Bible camp, that said "Robb Jesus Vanessa" (because Jesus is between us, and others before myself)... I would not have been surprised.

Because I was that girl. But I am not anymore. I have become a completely different person.

It's easy to see all the ways I am different from her.  Some things happened because of the passing of time and the birthing of babies.  Some things happened from the entwining of my life with other people, which softened and slowed me down in the best possible ways.  And some of the most shocking changes happened because I determined years ago to completely devote my life to reflecting the love of God to other people.  When I started down that path more than twenty years ago, I thought the road would take me to a secure place, where I wanted to go.  I never dreamed it would keep me far from family and childhood home. If I had seen then where I would go in my theology and my daily concerns, I wouldn't have gone because I would have been too scared. 

I would have said "No, thanks. That's too hard.  That will cost me too much. I don't feel comfortable with that. My family and friends will never understand why I am doing that."

Thank God for bends in the road that keep the future a bit hidden from us, lest we be completely overwhelmed.  Thank God for time and the way it gently holds us.  Thank God for a sense of humor and the penetrating drip of skepticism that gives us a chance to balance ourselves.

Sometimes, on a bad day, I am jealous of that girl.  Not just her skinny thighs but her discipline. Her strength. Her focus. It would be easy to think, based on what people say or the uncreative negativity in my own imagination, that I was better then than I am now.

It was BBC then, and it's Summit University Now.

But in my wiser moments, I am glad that part of my life is done.  Youth is only beautiful when it has parameters.  It gets really ugly and pathetic when you chase the stuff of youth for too long.  I want to believe that God finds this present time of my life just as beautiful and important now as I felt for those kids in the coffee shop today.  The truth is that it wasn't a lack of commitment to Jesus that brought me to where I am today. It wasn't a demand that things be easier. It wasn't a relaxing of my respect for the Bible that brought me here. It was a determination to keep going.  To be all in.  To follow the principles of Christianity into the farthest conclusions and applications.






My life is changing as I write.  I don't know everything, but I know this much:

1. I'm growing into really enjoying my kids and giving them my attention in ways I never did before, because my time with them all at home is pretty short.  
2. I am phasing out my vintage Etsy shop. It will take a while to close it, but after it was on vacation for a month or so, I realized that I just didn't care as much about it as I once did.  I cut most of the prices way down and things are selling rapidly with few replacements.  And it makes me feel free.
3. I will continue to make mosaics, but not in the same way.  I have turned down upcoming shows.  It's not my season for that.  It's partly because of the kids, but it's also partly because... 
4. I am trying to capture my beliefs in words in an ordination paper that I will defend later this year so that I can be ordained by my church formally as a pastor, minister, spiritual nurturer, guide/cleric (I will have to settle on a word that fits eventually too!)   The larger truth is that I need to craft my life around the call I've felt for most of my life: To love people.  To hear and help them. To give them a safe place to heal from their hurts. To help them know themselves.  To be with them.  To care for their spiritual health. To find expression for what it is to be human and to recognize the spiritual thing about every human thing.  For a long time, I needed money or the chance to express myself, or the space to be creative and I did that through making mosaics. I know there are some new ways of doing that on the horizon for me now; I'm coming back to where I started in the first place. 

Sometimes change happens gradually as you are exposed to a new idea or attempt a new practice.  But sometimes change is a full-on season known as Liminal Space.

 “Participants "stand at the threshold" between their previous way of structuring their identity, time, or community, and a new way. Continuity of tradition may become uncertain, and future outcomes once taken for granted may be thrown into doubt. - Wikipedia 

It occurs to me as I have thought about my reaction to those young people in the coffee shop that I feel a kinship as much as I feel different from them.  They too are in a liminal space, trying to launch their lives, dreaming of what they will do in the world and who they will become.  I am so tenderhearted to this stage of their lives.  It is ridiculously hard and almost impossible to prepare for.

The only way I know how to say it is this: Those kids are there, inviting God along for their adventure.  And I am here, inviting MYSELF along for the adventure.  I wasn't a better person 20 years ago. I was just a different person. She was great in her time.  I feel nothing but fondness for her.

But really, I am just wildly curious about what comes next.

When You Feel Like Punching Customers in the Throat

A few weeks ago, I was at my favorite coffee shop and the barista asked me how my week was.  I reached into my thoughts and fumbled around like I do when I need to find something in the bottom of my too-large purse and fished out this as an answer: "Oh, busy."

And as soon as I said it, I grimaced and thought "Gross."  I looked at her friendly face and said, "That is such a boring answer to your question."

For months now, I have been living inside the busy machine, watching the wheels go around and around, observing the mechanisms, trying to figure out how to stop it.  I paid attention to what I enjoyed, but I had trouble really feeling that. But I started really noticing that my customer's questions on Etsy were beginning to anger me more and more.  If anyone but Robb could have heard the way I answered in my fantasies, you might be equal parts amused and horrified.  One shopper inquired if she could have a discount by way of free shipping.  Out of curiosity, I asked for her zip code. She replied by telling me that she actually has two houses, one in an expensive city, and that would be her preference that I send it there.

I fumed for a whole night and the better part of a day.

"So let me get this straight?  You have TWO houses and you want me to give you something for free JUST BECAUSE you think you ought to have it? Do you really think I'm just here to GIVE away my product?  Never mind that I took my baby out to a thrift store, sorted through aisles and piles of stuff, identified this item as one of value based on over a decade of experience, brought it home, cleaned it, photographed it, listed it so you could shop at your leisure, buy it with confidence that I would package it appropriately, ship it promptly and deliver it to your door.....you are so damn special that you deserve to get a discount, functionally asking for this service for FREE. "

"Thanks for the offer, but I'm going to pass this time!"  I breezily replied after hours of trying to decide what to do.

I actually considered taking her offer, because I hadn't had a sale in a few days and I was missing the money and the hit of adrenaline that selling brings.  But selling is hard these days.  In fact, the whole platform at Etsy has changed in the last couple of years, especially since the company went public.  Gone are the days of simplicity and smallness.  Gone are the days of curating pretty treasuries that you hoped would reach the front page. Instead, it is a huge marketplace with ever shifting suggestions and tips for mastering SEO, becoming a wholesaler, joining networking teams, blah blah blah....

I've been an online seller for almost 13 years.  I started on eBay back in the day when it was new and hot.  I had a borrowed digital camera that loaded 8 pictures at a time on a dial-up modem.  I reached Power-Seller status and we still eat at the kitchen table I bought with my first real profits.  Over the years, I've been able to spin a lot of hay into gold...scouring garage and estate sales, thrift stores and flea markets for treasures that needed to see the light of day.  And it was fun.  For a long time, it was fun. It was work too.  An actual career.  It fit with our family's time and values, and it helped pay for so many small, unglamorous things like school lunches and school clothes and furniture and paint.

When I was pregnant with Whimsy, I had that dream:  the one where you find a room in your house that you didn't realize you had and weren't utilizing.  It's a dream about potential.  It's your mind telling you that you are capable of something else.  That other possibilities exist. At the time it made so much sense.  Obviously, my life was going to change and I was amazed that I was still capable of having a baby at my age.  I knew that having a baby would affect my work, and I was open to what the experience had to teach me.

treat yo' self... to a decent breakfast at your own table

I love the character Dash in the move The
Incredibles (That movie has been an metaphor for my life on many occasions and it's one of my favorites).  I love when the family is all working together, doing what they do best and the mom tells Dash he can go "as fast as he can."   I totally understand his overjoyed disbelief at this permission. "AS FAST AS I CAN?!"  There have been many times in my life that I have longed to do that.  To just break it open and do everything I have inside of me as fast and as hard as I can.  To work without any limits, to express every creative urge, to bury myself in projects that interest me.  But it has been a long, long time since I felt that way.  For months now, I have confused low grade depression for what it actually is:  burnout.

My anger at my customer...while pretty legitimate...was disproportionate.  Paying attention to that anger was healthy.  It helped me realize just how much of myself I have been giving away without being replenished.  I have some huge projects on my plate right now.  I have said "yes" to some things that are very good things.  And now I need to say NO (maybe even "HELL NO!") to some other things.  I cannot keep living in violation of my own values and nobody but I can make that happen.  (Although, encouragement and support from my husband certainly has helped.) At the most basic level, I am a wife to Robb. I am mom to four amazing kids in super transitional seasons of their lives.  I am pastor of a fascinating church where I am just now recognizing the possibilities for me to lead and grow.  I am a creative and I long to give my creativity to those who will benefit from and enjoy it the most.

My biggest mosaic project yet.

More on this later...

this hand-lettering class was very relaxing

Find Old Wallace Simpson at The Little Craft Show on May 7

So for now, I am putting The Classic Butterfly on vacation.  In a month, after I have finished the Little Craft Show and completed two other large projects, I will re-evaluate selling online again. I suppose in glancing over this post, it seems so obvious that this is a good move for me, but it's hard to describe how much this job affects my daily life.  I get up and check messages first thing every day and answer customer's questions.  Whatever I have planned to do otherwise gets pushed aside to ship orders before the carrier arrives each day.  I am always on the lookout for new product.  Sunshiny days always mean taking some time to photograph stock and push myself to be better at product photography.  The marketing and networking never ends.  And in any free moment, I am writing listings.  This has been my routine for more than a decade and more than a whole room of my house is devoted to storing, photographing, and shipping product.  If you think it's going to be easy for me, please think again.

But I had that dream again the other night....the secret room.  I am open to some possibilities again.  There's more to my life than I thought.  

What I Learned from a Very Successful Etsy Seller

We all learn in different ways.  My husband learns by listening. If he focuses on what he is hearing, he can absorb the information, organize it, synthesize it and recall it with ease.  He quit taking notes in college when he realized he could do this. He enjoys podcasts and news radio.  He can recall a sermon he heard from college and what the main points were.  It's really amazing. I am not that way at all.  Many people are visual learners.  A lot of information is absorbed visually, especially through reading.  This is only my secondary version of learning.  The best way for me to learn is kinesthetically. I learn by doing. Yesterday, I learned how to change the drain pump motor on the dishwasher by doing it.  That's how I learned to paint my walls, remove carpet, lay tile floor, sell on Etsy, make mosaics, work in an office, parent my kids and be in a healthy relationship.  I learned by doing it. 

Last month, I started working with Stacie Bloomfield, the creative behind Gingiber, a very successful Etsy shop.  (Stacie and I met at a craft show which was an utter disaster in most ways, but a Providential act of God in others.)  Her shop has grown now to the point of needing some extra help shipping her orders and getting her inventory ready to ship.  In December of 2011, she was a featured seller, just about the time her daughter Lucy was born.  She blogs about being in labor and getting up and filling Etsy orders before heading to the hospital!  This year, she developed a licensed Razorback illustration which is getting a lot of love here in Arkansas.  She is also developing a line of dog illustrations with a new illustration each week featuring different breeds of dogs.  She makes pillows, calendars, baby onesies, tote bags, post cards, art prints, posters, tea-towels and wall decals. And I know for a fact, she has no shortage of ideas.  Her work is fresh, young, distinctive, whimsical and appealing to audiences world-wide.  She is living the dream...which means she works REALLY hard. 

For the last couple of years, I too have been toiling away in my Etsy shops.  I was trying desperately to get them to grow to a point of being a significant portion of our family's income. It wasn't greed that was driving this desire, but rather, the desire to get Robb out of working a job outside of Vintage.  When we started Vintage, we planned to be "sponsored" by others until the church was self-supporting, much like missionaries.  The problem was, nobody supported us.  Because we were breaking ties with the teaching of our denomination, our network didn't support us. And nobody else knew us.  So for the first few years of Vintage's existence, we got two support checks a month: one from a dear lady in Boston and one from a family member. The checks totaled about 75 dollars.

Now almost 8 years later, Robb is successful at his day job.  His resume no longer consists solely of "Bible-this" and "Church-that."  But we always deal with the pressure. Saturdays will never be just a day to goof-off. And those wonderful Monday days off -back in the years of full-time-ministry- are just a hazy dream.  Not to mention the frustrating ceiling hanging over us all the time that if only he could work at Vintage full time, he could do so much more. So I worked. As hard as I could. First selling vintage on Etsy. Then making mosaics. Fully believing that they could become the way....the way to free Robb up.  The way to help our church.  The way to what we thought was best.

But it didn't happen. My Etsy shops have always brought in exactly enough. Enough for the extra bill we didn't expect. Enough for Christmas. Enough for new jeans every fourteen days while Mattie was going through a growth spurt. Enough for a nice family outing or an anniversary present. Never any more than that.

So I worked harder.  I made more mosaics.  Worked like dog. Improved my pictures. Poured over the Seller's Handbook and followed their every bit of advice.  Sales decreased. I actually sold less than I did in the first two years I was selling on Etsy.  The marketplace was flooded with vintage sellers exiled from eBay and I became a needle in a stack of needles.  And the mosaics just got lost in the shuffle.  Shows are wildly successful endeavors, but the Etsy shop moves a piece or two a month at best.  They are large, heavy and hard to ship. So I tried branching out....took the space in Eureka Springs. Surely, with more people passing by, I would sell those large pieces I like to make.  But it's hot in the summer and parking is a nightmare and selling in Eureka proved disastrous.

So when Stacie mentioned she needed help, I sort of blurted out "I could do that."  After all, I've shipped thousands of things in the last 10 years.  I know how to do it. And I know how an Etsy shop runs. I know how to use all the features. Why not?  So I started going to her newly rented office.  And it was fun.

First off, I get paid by the hour.  This is a crazy thing for someone who has been running my own shops.  I could work fifty hours straight and get NOTHING out of it.  There is no correlation between how hard I work and if I get paid.  But at Gingiber, I clock in and clock out.

Dr. Micheal Firmin

Dr. Rembert Carter

Secondly, I remembered what it was like to be helpful.  Back in college, I worked for two professors...Dr. Carter and Dr. Firmin.  They were both incredibly intelligent, creative, hard working and driven.  Dr. Carter famously slept only 4 hours a night. He pastored churches, some as many as three hours from his home, taught two of the largest classes in the school, held extra study classes, kept up an insane amount of correspondence pre-email days, not to mention leading field trips, grading papers, and hosting "socials" in his home for students and faculty alike.  Dr. Firmin was in the midst of a second doctoral degree with an enormous number of field hours, was founding a Master's in Counseling program, teaching most of the psychology classes, administering personality tests as part of the Seminary training, writing and publishing in academic publications, and oh, yes, pastoring in local churches as well as being a young husband and father.  I loved working for both of them.  I think I was rather good at it, actually.  I was not really secretarial material, couldn't type fast enough, wasn't always as detailed as I needed to be, sometimes forgot important things, but what I was very good at was supporting them. I knew what they were doing that day and worked to make their days run smoothly.  They knew they could depend on me. Early in the morning or late at night, they could call and ask me to find something, file something, deliver something or get something prepared.  I knew their quirks: Dr. Carter was messy and left to own devices might have been buried under the weight of his own dusty piles of papers. Dr. Firmin hated cheap pens and would throw them over the 4th floor banister if I happened to let one in the door.  Dr. Carter was a morning person. Dr. Firmin was a night-owl.  I got more of an education from working in their offices than I got in some professors' 3 credit hour courses. 

I bring that to Stacie's office. And she is so grateful.  She has so many decisions to make. So many hats to wear.  She is busy, busy, busy all the time.  Each time I go to her office, I think about what will make things better for her, how I can contribute to her success and mental well-being. I think about how to organize things better so that things will go more smoothly. I try to create systems that require the least amount of bother for her. I understand her goals and try to help her achieve them.

I was there about a week when I realized this:

I don't want my Etsy stores to be this successful. 

I was there about two weeks when I realized this:

I enjoy being supportive.

It took three weeks to ask this question:

Why couldn't I be this supportive to Robb as he is trying to lead Vintage forward?

You see, I learn by doing.  I learn what I like by doing it.  I realized by opening myself up to this new opportunity with Gingiber that what I actually want and what I thought I wanted are two very different things.  I finally admitted to myself that even though I still like making mosaics and selling vintage, I don't want to do it full time. If I had to make mosaics at the rate that Stacie sells, I would be my own personal sweat shop.

What I actually want to devote my life to is the work at our church, Vintage Fellowship.   I felt myself let go of the idea of the wildly busy and successful Etsy shop. I let go of the idea of it being the way to support Robb and our church.  About four weeks into it, I realized this:

I don't have to worry about the money anymore.

Whatever we need, and whatever Vintage needs will be there.  All I need to do is enjoy selling vintage and mosaics, but don't be driven by the fear that I must do more and grow bigger.  Other things can have my attention.

Ironically, sales are up. Way up.  I am thankful.  I recognize this as a kind of confirmation that pursuing a new-found joy in the work of the ministry won't lead to our finances falling apart.

What exactly does this look like?  Am I saying that I "work" for Robb like I do for Stacie? What fills my time now?  I will write more later.  Right now, I have to pack a bunch of orders and find out how to ship a headboard to an interested buyer on the west coast.  And finish a custom order.  Have I ever mentioned just how much I love irony?

Crafting a Beautiful Life

I have been struggling with insomnia for a little over a week now.  I wake up like clockwork at 3:30 a.m.  I do some thinking and then I try to discipline myself to do an exercise a friend told me about that really does help me sink back into sleep if I work at it:  I subtract 7 from 100 until I fall asleep.  It is so boring, inevitably, I drift off before I can reach 65.  It helps that I am terrible at mental math. Scientifically speaking, it works because it accesses the dull, logical part of my brain, not the part that is feeling everything. 

Last night while I was in the thinking stage, I thought maybe I would just write a bit about what my life looks like these days because it is changing.  It always helps me to come back to my blog and see how much things have changed in my life after a certain amount of time has past.  I'm blogging this for my own benefit more than anything.

So this is how I am spending my life right now:

Three days a week I get up and go the gym. In January, almost inexplicably, I started running for the first time in my life. I will be writing more about that soon.

On Mondays and Thursdays, I spend a couple of hours at Stacie Bloomfield's office, otherwise known as Gingiber LLC headquarters.  Stacie is an enormously successful and incredibly hard-working Etsy seller who has grown to the point of needing some contract labor to help ship her orders.  I have so enjoyed this and learned some things that I will be writing about too.

On Tuesday nights, I am leading an Experimental Collective focused on using used items to help others.  So far, we have watched "The Story of Stuff,"  an excellent overview of consumerism in America.    I will definitely write more about this as we physically disseminate a huge pile of "stuff" that has been donated by Vintage Fellowship for the exercise of learning to be better consumers, better donators, better philanthropists, better citizens of the world.

I am currently a tenant in two flea markets: my booth at the Fayetteville Trading Post is being used by the Experimental Collective to generate cash for our experiment, but it does have quite a bit of my stuff in it still as I am phasing out this booth from my sole responsibility. I also have a space at the 410 Vintage, where my idea was to sell off some of my large mosaic projects.  So far, it hasn't been a big money maker.  I'm going to give it another few weeks and see if it takes an upswing.  Flea markets take time, though, and I'm not sure I want to keep spending it there.  The jury is still out on this.

I am still operating my Etsy stores selling vintage in The Classic Butterfly and mosaics at The Mosaic Butterfly.  These are still a big part of my life and a great creative outlet. 

I also spend a portion of time at Heartwood Gallery where I display my smaller mosaic works (because of space limitations.)  I really enjoy working on displays in the whole gallery and that seems to be my best contribution to this collective of artists.  

Another small side project right now is assisting my good friend Holly Shacklett as a substitute helper in her organizing business.  She has a business partner, but sometimes she needs some extra hands, and that really satisfies a part of me that like to make a real, tangible difference. 

Robb and I have begun to collaborate on a podcast.  This tool for promoting his book is a really fun way for us to open the conversation up to other people to tell their stories of transition and transformation.  So far we have interviewed two really interesting guys and continue to work out the kinks of technology.  This project really excites me because it allows people in on something that Robb and I are good at....talking to one another about the things that we have devoted our lives to.   I will definitely be writing more about this too. 

It seems at times that I am too busy.  But the truth is, that these things take up as much time as I let them.  Recently, l came to the conclusion  that my life was missing a big rock in my big jar of pebbles.  It's easy to fill up my time on Facebook or Pinterest, hovering over my online stores and the promotion that is necessary for them, and other really secondary things. I have made some big realizations in the last month thanks to my activities. Doing things has helped me learn things that I wouldn't know otherwise.  I look forward to sharing more about that soon.  But for right now, these are some of the things that I am devoting my time and energy towards.  I am really fortunate to have the freedom to weave my life this way, but it has also been very deliberate.  Exploring what you want out of the life you have been given is important work. 

What The Heck is a Treasury?

brick and mortar display at Anthropologie

If you know people who are part of the Etsy community, you may have heard us talk about Treasuries.  We make them, tweet them, and heart them.  And if we are in one, we hope above all else that it gets to the front page.  Lost already?  Let me explain.

A treasury is a set of 12 items chosen around a theme. Nine make it to the front page (ie. the always changing group of items you see when you go to Etsy.com)   and 3 are alternates, should something sell from that original list of nine before it is chosen for the front page.  These curated lists reflect a particular person's interests, taste and definition of beauty.  It functions like a display or even a front window in a physical (ie. brick and mortar) store.  Anyone registered with Etsy can make one by going to this page.  Some people and groups make an art of making treasuries, just like marketing geniuses make an art of store displays.

Anyone with an Etsy account can make a treasury, but Etsy admin makes the choice about which treasuries go on the front page. I don't know exactly how they decide, but Etsy promotes certain themes each month as a guideline, like outdoor weddings, back to school, holidays, etc.  A good treasury has a wide price range of goods, is visually beautiful and incorporates a mix of vintage and handmade. The treasuries are on the front page for a half an hour...which is why it is so desirable to have an item in the front page treasury.  People all over the world will see it and often, the item is purchased within minutes.   Not to mention, the whole wide world gets a glimpse of your store and your style.

Making treasuries is also a good networking tool.  I can learn a lot from sellers who make it to the front page frequently. And I often mark the makers of treasuries as favorites so that I can learn more about what is considered top quality in the minds of Etsy administration.  Which in turn helps me in my photography and descriptions.

A Treasury I Made

Recently, (I think?) Etsy has added the option of "hearting"  or marking a treasury as a favorite.  The reason your friends in the Etsy community share these treasuries on Facebook and Twitter and their blogs is to give a treasury momentum, which helps it get noticed, possibly sending it to the front page. It's really nice of you to check these treasuries out and leave a comment or even click on a few of the items that have been collected there. Here are some other examples of Treasuries I have made.

So now you know what a treasury is and why they are made and what they hope to accomplish.  Click away!

The Ugly Underbelly

I have been selling stuff  for over 9 years now.  First on Ebay and now on Etsy and through a gallery and flea market.  Most of the time, everything works out hunky-dory, but occasionally you go through seasons that are just no fun.  I have been going through a season that is just no fun.

In the past month, I had a buyer report me for non-delivery. That was new.  (It was an international order and it just takes a long time.)  Then Canada had a postal strike so I couldn't even send a box their way for awhile.  Another buyer from January contacted me to say that her very large insurance refund had not come through yet.  Another box was returned, undeliverable.  Another buyer was unhappy with the quality of their item.  For a two week period, I had almost no orders (which is really odd).  At the flea market, I had over 100 dollars worth of stuff stolen.  And at the gallery there was a controversy over a possible new artist.  Some things that happened were my mistakes. Most were completely out of my control.  All of them were rather stressful as they required extra time, energy and money that won't be recouped in the immediate future.

I'm not whining.  I mean, I HAVE whined.  I have asked myself if I'm in the wrong line of work and maybe I should get a REAL job at....at....at....you know....someplace that I can wear my pajamas, work in bed until 9:30, be around my kids and church folks if they need me, be at home most of the time, not have to buy a work wardrobe, and limit my driving to places I would probably go anyway for fun.  Flexibility is expensive.

Robb laughs at me a little bit.  "Sometimes works sucks. That's normal." 

He's totally right.  It is normal.  You do have lousy stuff happen that is out of your control.  What is in your control is trying to handle things with concern for your customers, understanding that they might be coming on aggressively because they think they have to in order to get the attention they need for their problem.  They don't know me.  They don't know that all I want in the world is a smooth transaction with a happy customer, maybe even a returning customer.  I hate it when something doesn't go smoothly and I hate it when an item gets broken in the mail.  The reality is that the more people that are involved in the process, the greater the chances that something will go wrong. All I can do is pack boxes to survive a four foot drop, use common sense in labeling them (because it's easier than you think to switch two labels on similar boxes!)  and pray they are treated well when I send them out the door. 

I hope it's not too weird to say that some items give me a bad feeling when I ship them.  There is something about the interplay I have had with the customer already that I just know when a box isn't going to make it, no matter how I ship it.  I've been wrong on my "bad feelings" before, but not often.  This too is out of my control. 

It helps to have an action plan for certain kinds of problems.  In my case, if I switch the labels, I pay for the items to be shipped to the right location and refund all the shipping fees the customers paid in the first place.  I have begun insuring anything over 50 dollars.  I can afford to refund something that is broken if is less than 50 bucks, but after that it gets rather spendy.
Recently, I have learned that a seller can file an insurance claim and have a refund sent to the customer.  I will be doing this from now on.  The process is so complicated and frustrating, I don't want my customers to have this burden any more.  If an item disappoints for quality reasons, I usually give a percentage refund.  I am well acquainted with the taste of humble pie.  To err is human.
 
I do wonder how some sellers never seem to get a negative feedback score.  I have one out of over 1400 transactions.  The buyer left no comment about her problem and would not respond to any messages.  I also have 11 neutral comments.  I have addressed each and every one of them as well, asking what I could do better, how I could fix their concerns.  Some I was able to fix and some they just didn't respond.  I confess that I find reading people's feedback on etsy and ebay wildly entertaining and can spend hours scrolling through pages of comments.  Geeky, I know. 

For me, being in business is a spiritual exercise.  My values don't allow me to simply focus on the bottom line.  I choose not to reveal my Christianity in my selling venues because I personally tend to be suspicious of a seller who uses their faith as a selling point.  But I do think carefully about how to act like a Christian when things go wrong.  It often comes back to fear and trust.  Do I trust God to provide for us?  If I do, I won't be stingy and unfair to a customer with a legitimate concern.  On the other hand, I can also trust God to give me the confidence I need to deal with a customer that is a bully.  I don't have to be afraid to handle a conflict.  I always try to remember my Philo of Alexandria...

"Be kind, for everyone you meet is in a great battle."

And now, it's time to pack a box.

He Buys Me Houses

My husband's love-language is gifts.  Over the years, I have come to learn this language and bask in the warmth he's created.  From sneaking a piano into the house in the middle of Christmas Eve night to the vintage book of poetry entitled "The Book of Friendship Verse" he bought me on my first birthday that we knew each other (and weren't yet REALLY dating)...his gifts have been a reminder of his constant love and knowledge of me. 

It's a hard language for me to speak at times, with embarrassing mis-speaks like the infamous shoe-shine-kit debaucle of 1997.  And if it were a competition, I would lose like I do at the foolish moments I attempted to play him at the Amish card game, Dutch Blitz....that is, regularly and without comparison. 

Five years after we left her....

In our 17 years of knowing each other, we've had to make some big purchases together. And he has managed to turn those into gifts too.  Our first house was instantly obviously destined for us, but it seemed totally impossible at first.  But he made it happen.  I had a love for that house that was probably unhealthy.  It was hard, after stripping wallpaper or glue and painting nearly every surface in it, to tell where it left off and I began.  I mourned it's loss for a long, long time.  I am pleased to say that it looks like we have a buyer...a nice young couple just starting out in life.  That soothes my heartache.

Then, when we moved to Arkansas, he bought me a couple of houses....

This one, on our second Christmas here, when we had finally learned to manage our money and we had just 35 dollars to spend on each other for Christmas.  I suggested we do just stocking gifts and he agreed.  His stocking was full of the practical and traditional things I fill his stocking with every year. Mine was full of odd empty boxes and weird lumps, which I would open and give him weird looks for and he would just shrug.  At the end of present-opening, he handed me a flat package which contained an antique framed black and white photograph of a house that I had admired months ago in an obscure shop.  It fit with a growing collection I had started of old houses, which includes one of the farm where my grandmother grew up.

And then, there was the little matter of our current house, which I can hardly believe we have been in for just one year now.  And true to form, I am just now getting it organized.

So, all of that to say...for my birthday, my sweet man trolled my Etsy favorites to find me another house for my collection.  I was delighted with this work by Randall Roberts
which has long been in my badge of favorites right here on the blog.  I could look at it for hours and can hardly wait to find just the perfect spot for it. 

I think he should teach a workshop for husbands to learn the secrets of great gift buying during this holiday season.  Don't you?

Like a Little Bit of Christmas Threw Up in Here

I photographed my small collection of vintage Christmas goodies yesterday.  At one point, the entire room was engulfed.  But I looked around at one point and though, "Maybe I'll just keep it...It looks so pretty!"   

It will all be in the store....unless I change my mind.

I'm Ten Sales Away

...from my 1000th sale on Etsy. 


I'm offering free shipping in the United States for the 1000th transaction, so go check it out...you could get a great value....especially if you just bought ten things all at once!


Thank you Etsy!  

I Go A-Thrifting

Well, well, well.

The show is over and over 20 of my pieces went to new homes, including both of the large tables.  In short, I had a blast. I am exhausted. And I am invited to be juried into the fall show.
Which would require me to have about 5 times as much product prepared. So yeah, that's a lot.  I barely slept from excitement on the nights of the show.  And then I slept so hard, I allegedly yelled at Robb, yelled at the dog, and yelled at ants that were swarming all over my feet in a very vivid dream.  I have some recollection of the ants and the dog, but I'm pretty sure Robb is just making it up.

And what does a girl do to recharge her batteries?  She goes thrifting.  I NEED DISHES! My stash is very low. And the flea market booth needs some love. The Heartwood Gallery booth has only a post it note in it.  And my etsy store?  Forgettaboutit.... It's practically empty with only 300 items in stock!  So here's a glimpse of what is to come....after I do some laundry. And make a good dinner.  And answer a million messages I owe many of you.  And plant my Mother's Day plant from Robb.  And, and, and.....

A Good Shoe Day

Who needs a good hair day when you can find shoes like these?

Quickly Becoming a Favorite Spot

I snapped this photo as a
preview of some of the things
that will be in the etsy store
sometime in the near future.
But I have found myself sitting in this chair pretty often lately,
enjoying the huge window
and my rose bushes just outside.


And yes, Mom, that IS a Clarice Cliff plate and I am most definitely keeping it!

It's hard not to live for weekends...

...when they were as enjoyable as this past one. 

Friday was a busy day for me, as I ran out the door early so I could stop at the flea market and check on things there, and then head down to the Fayetteville recycling center to get some mulch for my front flower bed...which is enormous and needed a lot of love to recover from a year of being un-cared for before we moved in last fall.  Here's a tip.  If you are pining for a bulk load of mulch but drive a minivan instead of a pick-up truck, try using those big rubbermaid 5 gallon totes.  I lined them up and the guy at the recycling center just dropped a load from the front-loader on top of them.  They weren't so big that I couldn't carry them and it required no shoveling at all.  Of course, my van still smells like cedar, but there are worse smells on earth.

Moving on.  Spent a quiet day at the Heartwood Gallery.  Probably a little too quiet, but I did finish quite a few small things while I was "working."   Locked up and drove my mulch over to meet hubby for a lovely date:  attending our friend Sara's graduate program senior reading.  I had never been inside of Old Main before and it was the perfect setting for Sara's exquisite poetry.  We followed up with dinner with friends at Taste of Thai.  Robb's leftover Evil Jungle Prince is already making my mouth water when I think about my lunch plans for today.

Saturday morning, I was proud to roll out of bed by 7:30 a.m. and go out to unload that mulch.  With that job well done, we took the beautiful drive to Ozark Custom Butchering to pick up our half a cow.  "Half of the black one"  to be more specific.   Our local, grass fed cow led a good life and fulfilled its destiny to feed our family and friends; he is now in my freezer in well-marked packages.  

In an unbelievably well-timed coincidence, all three kids were invited to a birthday party at the Starlight Skatium   at the exact same time Robb and I wanted to be at the Springdale Convention Center for the Republican candidate debate and the NWA Boutique Show (respectively).   Seriously, what are the chances of that happening? 

At the show, which I confess I was mostly scoping out to see if I wanted to take part in the future, I was thrilled to meet a recently featured artist on Etsy, Tim's Sally.  I was smitten by her work and thrilled to find something I had been looking for:  a representation of Charleigh for my entryway.  By chance, I have collected some portraits that resemble Robb and Calvin, and I still marvel at Mattie's second-grade self portrait in oil pastels.  When I found a wee painting of a girl named Spice, I knew I had found my Charleigh, (aka our little Spicy Chalupa) portrait.  

Back at home, Robb made us Juicy Lucys...a burger featured on Man vs. Food which he tried out on his recent trip to Minneapolis.  Delish.

And on Sunday, we got to be with our Vintage family, which was nothing short of baby-tastic this week.  I got my fix holding Princess Addison who is growing from a five pound bag of sugar to a ever-snoozing 7 pounder just a few weeks since birth.  After an always-encouraging lunch meeting with our Oversight Team, we headed home for the truly sacred ritual of the Sabbath nap followed by our family tradition of AFV and Minute to Win It accompanied with toast and hot chocolate for supper.

This linktastic post brought to you by a truly blissful weekend.

New Bouquets

Not sure if these will go into the Heartwood Gallery or if I will add them to the Etsy store.







This one is my favorite.

The Ekphrastic Challenge

Another one of the lovely blogs I read is The Rick Rack Studio.  She threw down the ekphrastic challenge which captured my fancy.  I just learned that my "GRACE" mosaic made it into her pretty collection featured on the blog.  

This is the first time one of my handmade pieces has gotten any love in the blog-o-sphere and that means a lot to me.

Maybe it will help me get inspired to make some new stuff today!

Almost Famous!

The very sweet Jill of the Lune Vintage Blog has posted the Vintage Butterfly 94 interview on her blog.  Go check it out!!!

I was featured in the STORQUE!

I noticed quite a few people "hearted" me on etsy at about the same time during the day...which is a good tip-off that I got some press. Sure enough, after checking the "heart-0-matic" I saw that I had indeed gotten a set of salt and pepper shakers featured in Etsy's blog. This was a big encouragement to me on a day that I really should have been fired from my position as CEO of Housekeeping of this Home for being so completely inept at it.

But hey...no matter how much I screw up at my real job, I got featured in Etsy-land!

(and they are sold and heading out the door tomorrow morning)

Sometimes...

the stuff I find just blows me away.

These are rag dolls made in Sag Harbor, New York, in 1947. Aren't they just the sweetest things?

The Secret Life of an Etsy Photographer

Here's what most people see of my etsy pics. You don't usually get to see the mess ups and do-overs...


















I find myself wondering if my neighbors are hopelessly confused by my strange antics outside. Such as bringing a stool out on the front porch and then putting a globe on it and taking a picture of it. And then rolling up my sweatpants and pulling a pair of tights up to my knees so I can model shoes while simultaneously photographing them. Have you ever tried this? It looks crazy. And sometimes the camera falls over while you have it precariously tilted to capture your vintage blue suede pumps. Yep. If they are watching they are thinking, "That's one weird neighbor we got there."

They'll forget all about my weirdness when I bring them their Christmas cookie plate.

Sweet Finds

Naugahyde Wingback chair, Salvation Army, $15.00. Yeah, Baby.


Yellow side chair, Salvation Army, $39.50



Daniel Green "Outdorables" Suede shoes, on sale at half price, $2.50.


Everyone always asks me how I decide which of my vintage treasures to keep and which of them to sell. This is a very inexact science, frankly. It has something to do with romance...namely, if I love it too much to part with something. Romance is trumped by what bills came in the mail this month. Bills are trumped by the chances of me ever, ever, ever finding something again. Ever finding something again is trumped by making a bigger sale than I've ever had (the record stands at 700 dollars for a map I paid 2 dollars for.) And record breaking is trumped finally by the thought of something being good enough to leave to my children. Which has resulted so far, in my keeping a bakelite necklace and two paintings.

One other factor comes into play: if they fit.