Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Little Conversations With God

I don't have any real problems right now, it just feels like I do.

So finally, last night after supper, I just shut the door to take a shower (I get my showers at totally random times when I am certain to get both hot water and five minutes peace). I don't like baths....don't like "stewing in my own filth" as Chandler Bing said. But last night, I just filled that thing up with steaming water and sat there waiting for God to talk with me.

I could feel myself yammering at Him for days now..."Hey, God, what are you gonna do about my stuff? You said you'd take care of us, but things are getting kind of bad. I feel like I can't even get the stuff I need. You said you will meet are needs...are you gonna? Huh? Are ya? God, come promised us...And what about my friends? Are you gonna take care of them too? What kind of God am I peddling here? We can't so much as get a McDonald's Hamburger without screwing up the budget and our friends are at rock bottom...I know you are gonna do something...why don't you do it already?"

When I finally shut up, this is what I got...

"Be faithful with what you have. Do what you can."

He never seems to use half as many words as I do.

okay, God.

You see, we do have what we need. It's tomorrow and the next day that I've been fretting over. I resent the daily-ness of our need. I wonder if Elijah ever got anxious about whether or not the birds would bring him anything good to eat each day?

Speaking of good things to eat, we are getting low on groceries (if we could just stop eating, we'd be rich, I think), but we've been having absolutely inspired meals lately. On Monday, I marinated some chicken thighs in fresh orange juice and garlic and lemon-pepper salt and Robb grilled them with some of those hickory chips that Donna got for the ribs we had with them. I made a corn and black bean relish and I warmed up tortilla chips to go with the was yum. Last night, I used breaded chicken tenders in tortilla wraps with turkey bacon, a little cheese, fresh spinach and ranch dressing. I don't have a clue what I'll come up with tonight, but we've still got chicken and cans of stuff, so you never know...

And some other little miracles...Robb had two stamps in his wallet. And I think I have a magnolia tree in my back yard just like the one we had in Michigan. I feel so inspired by that to go out and rake and make things nicer.

Yeah, you do what you can.


Anonymous said...

Okay, I know you don't have a clue who I am. I found your blog through Heidi Bott. I have to say that I thoroughly enjoy reading it and have truly been blessed by your candor, your walk and your honesty. thank you for putting yourself, your thoughts, your frustrations out there. You will never know whose lives you are touching and through whom you are making a difference. Cindy Lutz

ness said...

Cindy, thank you so much for commenting. I'm always pretty sure I am over-sharing, but it seems like just about the time I think I should slap my hand over my mouth, somebody pipes up that what I said is helpful.

I guess I feel like it's my job to be honest about the fact that church planting, wifing and mothering is kind of trip!

Bless you.

Candice said...

Hey Ness, again I hear you! I, too, find inspiration in the way you open up your heart and walk with Jesus to all who are seeking. It is nice, though when He finally gives feedback.

Yesterday Ivy was telling Aley about God, "Like, Aley, if you stacked, like, all the houses in the whole wide world to the sky, like, God is even bigger than that- bigger than the sun, bigger than space!
And I am standing there so envious. They accept God's greatness so easily. And not in a completely "simple" way, but as something that makes sense to them - like love, fun, and ice cream.
Love, Candice

akr said...

see...i do some of my best thinking in the shower/bath! I am definitely learning to just look for the little blessings!

tammi said...

That's incredible.

I've always admired people who can make an entire yummy meal out of absolutely nothing. It's truly a gift, and one that I wish I possessed during these lean times in our financial life.
My mom could always do that - make a 4 course meal out of a can of tuna and some bacon bits - and I always thought it was incredibly genius. Wish that gene had been passed down.

awnhlupa - delicious casserole made from 1 can tuna, 1/2 jar bacon bits, baked beans, and raw spaghetti noodles.

ness said...

Candice, I love you. You write really well for a woman with 4 kids. I would have no brain cells left. I'm so glad we make me smile.

Amy, you will grow to love the shower even more when That Baby is born. It's my happy place.

Tammi, just start throwing things never know. I can think of at least one occasion when it wasn't really edible and we got a pizza instead. : )

Last night we had crabmeat, spaghetti and broccoli in a cream sauce. Crabmeat is my secret weapon's imitation, it's cheap, it's filling when mixed with pasta. Probably cost about 5 dollars altogether.

My husband complimented me for being resourceful, which was nice of him.

tammi said...

I have a package of crab meat that's been in the freezer for about 6 months. I bought it for some recipe, then forgot what the recipe was.
I've been wondering what the heck to do with it.

courtney said...

crab meat is a life saver...and somehow impressive to the suprise dinner guest--don't know why. My last crabmeat dinner was a seafood chowder I made with some cream corn and diced potatoes in the crockpot (God bless the inventor of the crockpot). Crab meat also makes me think of the time Laura and I bought crabmeat, cocktail sauce and pickles from County Market at 2 am and inhaled all of it while sitting in the enormous van Uncle Dick and Aunt Patty had. Talk about some serious PMS cravings.

Kim from Kansas said...

Thanks for your honesty!

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