Defiant Hope

It's been a rough year for the Ryerse family. Started a year ago when my Father in law lost his teaching job in a private school because of the economy. Which sent my Mother in law looking for a new job because, who wants to teach at a place that fired your husband? Then the whirlwind of the birth of Emilee and the emotional roller coaster resulting in her being returned to her birth family after more than three months as a part of THIS family. Our hearts broke with Matt and Karen's. We tried to trudge on, only to lose Kevin. Numb and raw, we waited for a phone call that would tell us this year of misery was over and Karen and Matt would have a baby in their arms by Christmas. But the birth-mom changed her mind. That little one was born a week and a half ago and they just found out yesterday. It seems too cruel that they are unpacking their car today which they had packed with such hopeful expectation.

And that's just Robb's side of the family. Mine didn't fair that much better.

It is tempting to say, Screw Christmas this year. Let's sit in our sweatpants, do whatever we have to do and just get through it. What is there to celebrate, anyway? Friends have lost jobs. Money is squeaky tight. Our family circle is broken. Nothing will ever be the same again. Don't even get me started on global warming. War. Infidelity. Illness. Pain.

But there is another option. And I opted for it yesterday. I decorated for Christmas. I put up lights. Because more than ever, we need light. We need warmth. We need hope. We need peace. We need Jesus. When he came to earth, everything changed. We caught of glimpse of the way things could be. We heard an echo of his idea of how things ought to be. He lit a little candle inside of us in a way he hadn't before. Someday it will be all right. Someday, His goodness really will swallow all the bad and extinguish the frustration of being human and broken. And while we wait, I will act as though the end turns out ok. I will not be overwhelmed. I can trust Him to work it out. I can love and live and hope and have joy. It is a purposeful celebration. The smells and the textures and the sparkle of this time of year are not just a production that has to be put on. It's a defiant act of hope.