Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Dust in a Vacuum

Sorry to those of you who read the Butterfly for crafty stuff, but I'm in one of my thoughtful places recently, due to some situations that have been going on that I can't write about, but break my heart anyway.

So I vacuumed last night. I'm confessing right now that I don't vacuum much. I hate my carpet and I'm a little passive aggressive to it by not vacuuming it. It's just so stinkin' ugly. But with the arrival of the colder nights, I have been wearing socks, which pick up whatever is on the floor...and whatever is on the floor is EEK!

So I vacuumed last night for the first time in a while. And even though the carpet is like the color of dust bunnies, I could actually see a marked improvement....a change for the better.

And that's when it hit me. This is about as much change as I can literally effect on the world. I can clean it or paint it or rearrange it. And it takes almost all the energy I have. The very dailiness of life is so utterly exhausting, not to mention the stuff that happens between flawed human beings.

Here I am, this little pastors wife, trying to make the world a better place. Trying so hard. I could just burn myself out trying.

But then there is God. And he literally never gets tired. He never flops down on the couch and thinks, "Please just turn it all off and let me lie here and be invisible for a while." He does, in fact change people and situations. He seems too slow and too subtle about it sometimes for my taste, but he does in fact change things. And it doesn't stress Him out. He's not wringing his hands, thinking, "Oh now what I am gonna do?" Nope, he is above it all and in it all and handling it all. The buck literally stops with him on single thing from the war in Iraq to how many hairs are on your head, from who'll be elected President to when a little bird falls out of the tree outside my window.

And for that, I am rather impressed with Him. For that, I may step back, take my white knuckles off the wheel, and let Him do what only He can do anyway.


Jess said...

You go girl. After living with stress induced IBS for the last two days, I am so with you. I have been so stressed about the house, I've made myself sick...or been so anxious about it I probably could have picked the whole thing up and chucked it across the street. :) Thanks for the good word this morning. :)

akr said...

did you read my mind (except for the fact that I have to vaccum more now or my little human vaccum will pick up everything left on the floor...the other day it was a dead bug and let's just say i found out half way through.) anyways...it's good to know i am not the only little pastors wife wearing herself down...thanks for the refocus.

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