Saturday, February 02, 2008

The Naughty Child

I don't know if you notice, but I fade out of blogging every once in a while. I confess it is because I have my hands full. I have a naughty visitor on a fairly regular basis and she really is a terrible child. She is selfish and argues over everything. Her insecurity is frightening...she will interrupt a really important adult conversation just to ask, "Do you like me?" So awkward, because, you know, I don't like her. I don't like her a bit. She's a pill. And the stuff she eats! I could only get her to eat olives, pickles and chocolate the last couple of days. I don't like to make fun, but I've told you this much, I might as well be honest...she's a total clutz...walks into door frames that have always been right there and drops things as often as not. She can't seem to put an outfit together to save her life and has to be helped to put on her clothes. And let's be blunt...personal grooming is iffy. You can see why I struggle so to be able to put up with her regular visits, but I do try hard to be nice to her. I can't tell you her name because that would be rude, but her initials are.... P.M.S.

8 comments:

klasieprof said...

Add to that, no "pretty" undies because she ruins them all, insomnia, crankiness...yep..sounds like my cousin that comes to my house too. The bitch.

Jess said...

Wonder why insomnia and PMS are such good friends... Any thoughts?

H said...

Does anybody think she's a damn cry baby! My friend is, not to mention she has been known to eat an entire package of cookies and then had chips so the salty would balance out the sweet. My little friend is such an idiot.

ness said...

Yup, I freakin' hate her.

Heidi said...

I don't know whether to hate her, or miss her these days... Its like she's here every day even though she's been gone for months. And talk about the bloating.

Mom Mattocks said...

The voice of been there..done that...she's replaced by hot flashes......no desire for sex.....still wanting to have a place to make estrogen...usually an inner tube around your waist that you can't take off, even if your not in the water...a rotten sense of well being forever with no nice hormones to grease the joints and brain cells, and to top it off chin hairs that grow to a foot....if you can't stand to look in the mirror that long to notice it. I can't say that I would want the bitch back in my house, but I sure did like some of the stuff that made her what she was.

Amber said...

This is SO hilarious!

Yeah, my friend likes to drop by unannounced. And she eats all the chocolate she can find. She's an addict.

Candice said...

Yeah, and she thinks an argument over whether or not the window is drafty is, lile, life or death. And she loves to screw with my myspace, loading crap twice she does not know how to UNload.
What a brat!

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