I'm not doing so well today. I am waiting for news about Robb's job interview for the manager's position, and tomorrow marks the end of the three weeks that I asked everyone to pray our house would sell within.
It's zero, hour, folks, and I am feeling it keenly. I don't think I can stand living in this nether world, "a snail between two shells," "stuck in a moment" ...whatever it is...much longer.
I am thankful for what I do have:
A wonderful and loving husband whom I adore.
Three sparkling children, full of mischief and innocence.
A roof over my head, windows that open on God's amazing beauty, screen doors that let in the fresh country air, and REALLY nice appliances : )
Work. Creativity. Ambition. Drive.
A friend who is on the way over with lunch.
Health and the ability to sleep most nights.
Extended family that has been amazingly supportive.
Friends near and far.
Books.
Music.
Roses, especially climbing red roses that bloom even in the dog's ugly yard.
Baby birds with ugly fuzzy heads.
Forgiveness. Even if God never gives me another thing, I am forgiven.
2 comments:
Struggling getting my mind wrapped around similar concepts too. Whether it is the situation we learned about Monday evening, my situation at work, your situation with your housing, our situation with Vintage, and the list goes on.
I find my mind wrestling with the seeming extremes that are represented with Proverbs 3:5-6 and Paul's life story. On one hand, God tells us to commit everything to him and our path will be straight and smooth. Proverbs seems to predict that a life of faith and wisdom is secure from "the fear of harm." On the other hand, a guy as sold out to God as Paul was and who did so much to further the cause of Christ and he was shipwrecked, stoned almost to death on numerous occasions, and his prayers for relief from his "thorn in the flesh" were never answered. What's up with that?
It is tough to reconcile. It seems cliche to say it really isn't about the circumstances but about the character they produce in us and our response to them. Perhaps when my mind is focused and my faith is firm, I don't fear harm even when harm comes and so the proverb can ring true when Paul floats in the sea clinging to a piece of wood.
Yancey is provoking my thoughts even more down this road in Reaching for the Invisible God right now. I'll end this babbling post with another quote that ends a paragraph about all the "heroes of the faith," many of whom are listed in Heb. 11 and who experienced more than their share of hardship.
"We who follow in their path today may sometimes experience times of unusual closeness when God seems responsive to our every need; we may also experience times when God stays silent and all the Bible's promises seem glaringly false."
A, that Yancey book is AMAZING. truely wonderful and appropriate for all that is going on in the "season of transitions" (as Pastor Allen would say) that so many of us seem to be going through right now. Bean,it's a simple comfort to me when all the cliches don't seem so comforting that our Father promised us food,shelter, and clothing and--despite my Western ideas of what "enough to live" might be, I try to just remember that my family is fed right now, we have a roof when it rains and family that is generous enough to let us stay with them for the summer, and nobody is naked (except Dora, but that's by her choice!) My ability to wrap my brain around faith diminishes when I think about not having a job yet, the possibility of placing Dora in daycare for the first time, et al I forget sometimes too that prayer IS powerful; it's not a light thing to pray for another. It's not a light matter when those prayers seem to go unheard...but, He's "not a tame lion" and I'm glad He knows what He's doing when the big picture isn't remotely clear to me. So my prayers for all of you continue, as I know you are also praying for us. I'm so proud of the warriors you have chosen to be in this monumental decision for Vintage!
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