Thursday, December 01, 2005

responsible people worry

As a person who trusts God, I still worry. It feels like the responsible thing to do. It's the least I can do, right? I might not be able to actually produce change, but if I at least worry about it, I'm contributing something.

Worry is very self-reinforcing. I read somewhere that when you worry, and the worst happens, worry is reinforced because you think, "See, I worried and I was right." When you worry and nothing bad happens, you think, "See, I worried about it and my concern and vigilance kept the worst from happening."

Last night for instance, I worried about the fact that Robb couldn't button his top shirt button....which must mean that he has a tumor in his neck because it JUST fit not long ago. And if it is a tumor, it must be cancer.

I worried about if mice are in the house. I worried about Sid chasing the mice and waking up the kids.

I worried that I had listed too many things on ebay and they wouldn't sell. I worried that I hadn't listed enough and we will never be able to pay off the bill for the car repairs.

When Robb complained of a stomach ache in the night, I worried that the cancer had spread.

(I don't think very clearly when I'm half awake)

It's interesting that when Jesus told us to not worry, he said, "because no one could add to his height by worrying." Who is lying awake at night worrying about getting taller?????

I wonder if he said that because even though it seems like we are helping by worrying about problems, we really aren't. If we were really helping by worrying we could prove it with something as obvious as getting taller.

It's like that old Aesop Fable about the horse and the fly....I read it in like second grade, so the details are a little fuzzy....the gist is that the fly is on the horse's back and they pull this heavy load, and when they finish, the fly says to the horse, "Didn't we do a great job pulling that?" and the horse just kind of flicks the fly with his tail out of annoyance for the fly.

I'm glad God doesn't flick us.

9 comments:

Robb said...

my ankle hurts too - i think the cancer is in my bones

courtney said...

yeah, I don't think I ever worried so I'd get taller but I am worried that the gingerbread house for the Pres's Christmas party will collapse, I worry that Dora will never stop throwing tantrums (and I'm a bad mom), that my husband will think I like working more than him...and all of it allows me to feed my need for adrenaline (drug of choice here)....does adrenaline cause cancer?

lylgry--my stomach lying when it says it's hungry even though I ate half a pound of candy that should of been on the gingerbread house

Robb said...

wow. are you guys cut from the same cloth or what?

courtney said...

um, yeah, just a bit....what?!? ....and have you met the other two siblings? ha ha

A said...

Might be time to recite the serenity prayer!?!?!??!!!

I was, I mean am, a worrier. But, I often catch myself now in the midst of a worried thought and realize that most of the things I worry about I have absolutely no ability to change. So, why burden myself if its beyond my ability to control/change it? I think that's the point of the whole height thing, you can't change it (after successfully navigating puberty), so why on earth worry about it?

Don't worry, be happy!

jdub said...

when I was in junior high I worried about my height. I laid awake in bed worring about my height.

I remember thinking if I could only grow a few more inches I could dunk or be cooler or something.

think about it...the disciples were probably junior high age...(Velvet Elvis)!

sfohn - an adrenaline high

jdub said...

too good to pass up

kawuyil - rejected name for Kawanza

Robb said...

I know it's glib, but I really like Rick Warren's statement, "If you can worry, you can pray."

xwhzoeh - the sound of Joel growing taller

courtney said...

Hey, I worried just enough!! The gingerbread house stayed up and I got to work the party enough to meet the pres and wife (who promptly started to EAT my poor house!!) ....I wonder how awful everything would have been if I hadn't worried about it?

fnfnilfg--the sound of my nose while I worked on the house

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