Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Good morning....

Did you ever have one of those days when everything you did was just worthless? And the harder you tried to do the right thing, the worse it got?

I had a hard time being an optimist yesterday. I got word that a dear friend has breast cancer. Another phone call told us that the pastor (who helped us get to live at Hollyhock House) lost HIS house in a fire yesterday. I paid bills. For no good reason, I snapped at the kids and couldn't seem to stop. I was cold and I didn't want to do my stupid, monotonous work. It was kind of a crummy day.

I don't know why on some days, it is so much easier to focus on what is going wrong...I don't know why sometimes I just see the bad instead of the fact that the kids are healthy and funny, we live in this house for free, God is at work making good come out of evil, and He has the power to change me. I think that I've become convinced over recent months, that being pessimistic is wrong. That it is God's nature to be optimistic. I think that expecting bad to happen to me at every turn is probably not in keeping with the way God wants me to live, and focussing on the bad is even less so. It's not easy for the zebra to change her stripes, but I'm trying (with God's help) to put off negativity and put on hopefullness. I still fully embrace the total depravity of humans...especially me....but I'm also daring to believe that God really is good.

8 comments:

courtney said...

Love you, Hon. Making we can change together. call if you want.

courtney said...

or, I should have said "maybe" instead? fingers don't work today

sbvnbek--the inabilty to spell

Josh P said...

Total depravity hmm.. what's partial depravity?

courtney said...

you know, the kind that doesn't end all "Sodom-n-Gomorah" like

wekydfqv--working 14 days straight

Robb said...

Optimistic as a characteristic of God ... I like it.

natryg - Cherokee word for the pulp inside pumpkins

akr said...

My dad used to say life is filled with ordinary days...our hearts long for the extrodinary but maybe what we really long for is heaven.

Anonymous said...

"If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world." ~C.S. Lewis

SLF in ny

ness said...

Hello SLF (((HUG)))!

How good it is when someone just says simply what we all feel.

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