Good morning....

Did you ever have one of those days when everything you did was just worthless? And the harder you tried to do the right thing, the worse it got?

I had a hard time being an optimist yesterday. I got word that a dear friend has breast cancer. Another phone call told us that the pastor (who helped us get to live at Hollyhock House) lost HIS house in a fire yesterday. I paid bills. For no good reason, I snapped at the kids and couldn't seem to stop. I was cold and I didn't want to do my stupid, monotonous work. It was kind of a crummy day.

I don't know why on some days, it is so much easier to focus on what is going wrong...I don't know why sometimes I just see the bad instead of the fact that the kids are healthy and funny, we live in this house for free, God is at work making good come out of evil, and He has the power to change me. I think that I've become convinced over recent months, that being pessimistic is wrong. That it is God's nature to be optimistic. I think that expecting bad to happen to me at every turn is probably not in keeping with the way God wants me to live, and focussing on the bad is even less so. It's not easy for the zebra to change her stripes, but I'm trying (with God's help) to put off negativity and put on hopefullness. I still fully embrace the total depravity of humans...especially me....but I'm also daring to believe that God really is good.