My son, my middle child, my gray-eyed wonder....
Rubs my back, despite my pretending to be asleep..
"Mom? How you feeling, Mom? Do you want coffee?"
I groan, pretending to be asleep a little longer...."Half."
"Half a pot? Ok, Mom. I'm on it. I'm having some today. I have a busy day. Need to be awake!"
Minutes later, he is back, and I hear the coffee pot percolating.
He climbs in bed, after showing me his outfit for the day. He is going to a movie with his friend. He's wearing a Cleveland Browns t-shirt, skinny jeans and a vintage wool fedora. "Lose the hat, Man. They won't be able to see over you in the theater."
"Hey Mom? I want more skinny jeans. They are really comfortable."
"But not too skinny. Like in Sunny, With a Chance....they are so skinny they can't get them on and then when they do, they fall over because the blood can't circulate." He laughs to himself....This Disney show is high comedy to him.
"Hey Mom? George Washington's teeth were made out of whale bones, other bones and wood. Do you you think he ever got slivers?"
"Maybe. I bet they just tasted bad."
"I have a loose tooth. Right here. Actually two."
"Hey Mom? Why did they take Ronald Reagan to the hospital when they didn't even know he was shot? "
"As a precaution."
"Oh. Ok. That was something. He just walks into the hospital and collapses. The bullet was like an inch from his heart. How did he survive that?"
"He was really strong and healthy."
"Hey Mom?" Hey Mom means subject change. "Have you ever owned stocks?"
"sort of. I have some investments. I guess that's what that is."
"I want to own stocks. Because you buy them, and then the companies that they are in give you money. Do you think that businesses have stocks in other companies?"
"I...guess so." I am fuzzy on this but I'm guessing yes.
"That would be weird. Like if McDonalds had stock in Sonic. They would be competition."
"Well maybe McDonalds has stock in like....beef....or something."
"That would make more sense. Hey Mom?"
"Are you sore this morning? Because when I was sick, I was sore. Like I think you have to use other muscles to throw up. "
"Yeah, I am sore."
"And did you have a headache? Because I had a headache."
"Yeah, I had a headache too. I took some ibuprofen."
"And did you sleep last night really hard? Because I was exhausted."
"Yeah, Buddy, I slept hard."
"Yeah, I slept really hard when I was sick. I didn't sleep very well last night. I think I was excited. Ok. I'm going to go get your coffee. I'm glad you feel better, Mom. Kiss?" He plants a smooshy kiss on my face before heading to the kitchen for two cups of coffee. He will pause to freak out at his sister's threat to smash his lego creation upstairs. She won't do it, but she knows she can yank him around...every time. Then he won't be able to find his wallet and we'll have an argument over which coat he should wear. And he left his gloves in dad's car. He makes his little sister some toast before heading out the door with his friend.
Oh, this boy.