Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Even if it kills me....

So it's 10:30 and I have been awake since 5:30 this morning, thinking, praying, fussing and stewing. I have a really lovely post started about my family reunion last week, but I can't seem to get into the frame of mind to finish the post.

So instead, I will talk about today: We had an appointment to look at another house in the neighborhood we want to buy in. Yet another house popped up as available while I was getting ready to go over and meet with Robb and the realtor. It feels like this could possibly happen, but as my long time readers know, we have been disappointed sooooooo many times before.

The house we saw, I did not like. That was kind of nice actually. You hate to see a house that's priced a little higher than you like that you really adore and can't have. I flat out did NOT like it. It had a surly attitude and a penchant for dark corners.
However, we did get to see another one while we were there that I remain curious about. It has the oddest floor plan, but delightful windows. I've learned through my either real or totally imagined Seasonal Affective Disorder, that good windows are absolutely of mighty importance to my brain chemicals. It also had hardwood floors and upper cupboards that weren't so nice that I would feel guilty yanking them down to put up open shelving. I loved the outside of it.

I worked today. In sharp contrast to yesterday when I tried to work and just sulked instead because I couldn't make myself work no matter how hard I tried.

I had a long talk with my nine year old who has begun to venture out into the world and realize that other kids her age have cell phones and tvs in their rooms. Two things that my nine year old can fuss all she wants, but won't have any time soon. It was our first real fight and we both cried. It ended well, but it was nothing short of unsettling to be having that conversation already.

The kids set up a Gatoraide stand today. I'm pretty sure I funded all their profits. But they had to sweat for it a bit. I figured it was the best chance to teach my aforementioned nine year that work is hard and money is even harder to come by.

Ubiquitous laundry. Ditto the summertime Biblical plague of flies here.

Snippets of conversation with the neighbors, the neighbor kids, facebook and texting. The credit card bill came. It is shrinking and we are beating it back. Soon it will be dead. I can't wait. Orders came in; I need to find boxes. Who else on the planet worries about if I will have enough boxes? I realize I'm worrying about boxes and switch over to praying that God will provide a box. Laugh at myself for worrying because He's a pretty big God....and a box is a pretty small thing....so I pray for a house instead.


Sara said...

i just love and appreciate your honesty. I appreciate the way you are able to articulate even the smallest things. I laughed and cried about the box thing...because yes it is a pretty small thing and God is a much bigger God. Reminds me of the things that I would like and need and how silly it is that i fret over some of them.

Life with Kaishon said...

Such a perfect summer day. Even the fretting. God was so real while I read that.

So, my 9 year old desperately wants a cell phone too. I just can't understand what he would need it for since we are almost always together. Tonight though, when we got home from work and play, I had to scream out thru the neighborhood to locate him. And then I thought, oh, this might be why moms have cell phones for their kids. Less screaming : ). I think the neighbors might like for him to have a cell phone. Who wants to hear me scream all day Vanessa : ) I just don't want to start paying for that too. Hmmmmmmmmmmm. What to do. For now, I am following in your footsteps and abstaining from making the purchase.

So excited about a house for you. So, so excited. I wish I could think of a more dramatic way to say that. And I also wish I wasn't leaving you a million word comment, but my fingers are just flying as thoughts come to my head : ). Whoops a roni!

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