Tuesday, April 14, 2009

My heart just pulled out of the driveway...

I don't have an awesome husband. I don't have a great husband. I don't have a nice husband.

I am married to a man who gives me pause. And for a frenetic nut-case like I am, that is saying something. I would never describe him as awesome, or nice, or great, because those words are just silly when it comes to the way this man is to me. I used to think that everyone felt that way about their husband, but sadly, I've learned that that isn't true.

I'm not good at many things. I'll try anything, yes, but I'm not particularly good at anything. Except being married to him. It has taken a lot of work on both our parts. It has taken a major commitment to not let anything else intrude on the value of us. It has taken hundreds of fights, millions of moments, all with the underlying belief that this person is valuable and worthy of my attention. There have been plenty of mundane times when laundry and bills and poop threatened to overtake our world. But there is always something that happens between us that is some kind of chemical chain reaction that leaves me feeling confident, safe, valuable, powerful, creative...I am certain that I know more about God because of the way my husband loves me.

I am mostly quiet on the subject of him. Often, I just watch him. I watch him be decisive, lead, and plan. I watch him struggle with ideas and what those ideas mean to the world. I watch him with people...people that don't quite get him....people who come to realize how much he cares. I watch him get dressed in the morning, going out to do his best at a job that isn't his passion so that he can provide for me and the kids. He is a man of beliefs. Those beliefs cause him to treat people a certain way, to act in a certain way, to live in a certain way that I find extremely compelling.

We were kids when we got married and had our friend Ted sing a song by Michael Card called Earthly Perfect Harmony. It was our commitment that day and still is...

"If we go on,
We'll shine our light upon
a world that badly needs to know
a human soul can love another human soul.

I can smell his aftershave from when he kissed me goodbye this morning. He's headed to Anaheim today with my heart in his hands.


Sara said...

thanks for posting this :) It's a great encouragement for me. Your marriage has always encouraged my heart. Maybe because it's one of the few relationships that i've seen thrive. Such a blessing.

Thank you for opening up apart of your world to me.

mtc92405 said...

I have lurked around your blog for a long while now, but never commented. (That makes me sound like such a creeper!!)
This post resonated with me in such a way that I HAD to comment, though. I soooo get this. I feel that I am one of the blessed few that truly love my marriage and my husband. What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing. Safety to your Hubby as he is away.
PS Your creativity amazes and inspires me!Our Creator certainly left His mark on you! :)
~Tiffany Darling

Katie said...

Awwwww......you guys are awesome! I know I say it all the time, but you really are.

I'm still laughing about the tile post and the "yikes" comment! :)

Have a good week, Vanessa!

stephanie garcia said...


Life with Kaishon said...

Crying. So happy you have this perfect love. What a gift from God.

Blogging tips