Friday, January 16, 2009

You Might Be a Parent

I love those lists of Church bulletin know...verbal mishaps by over-worked or undereducated church secretaries. My favorite...
"For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery downstairs."

OH! If only there was a nursery downstairs. If only there was a downstairs! But in case you don't know for sure, here's a few indications of parenthood from my morning:

You might be a parent if:

Your day started with a kid running in to tell you they forgot their lunchbox at school. At 6:22 a.m. (You don't get up til 7.)

You might be a parent if one of your kids is putting lotion all over the other kid to get their finger out of a nerf gun. At 6:23 a.m.

You might be a parent if you wake up to the smell of burning soup and really REALLY strong coffee. Because they were "just trying to help!"

You might be a parent if you arrive to deal with the burning soup situation and find kids cleaning up a bag of frozen blueberries with the broom you use to clean the bathroom floor.

You might be a parent if, after mopping the floor, soaking the burnt pan, making oatmeal and cream of wheat because two out of three kids will eat oatmeal but one out of three will eat cream of wheat, while simultaneously yelling at the children to just do their job and let you do yours and then everything will be just fine...and then you find half a basket of coffee grounds sliding down the front of the garbage can and a sink full of toothpaste blobs after you just cleaned the sink...TWICE...yesterday....well, I could go on, but it's too sad....

You may also be a parent if you convince your four year old that cleaning with Clorox wipes is fun.

You might be a parent if these are considered clean rooms.

You may also be a parent if you have been presented with anything resembling these as your birthday gift:

And also if you have ever used the phrase, "Son, you need to be careful where you draw Swastikas. People could get the wrong idea.

And also if you got "help" with all of your jobs, but the children's chore of feeding the dog was somehow forgotten in all of the "helping"

You may be a parent if you look out your front window (which is smudged with a hundred thousand finger prints at about the 3 foot mark) and see this:

You may also be a parent if, at this time, when all the kids have gotten out the door and you are left reflecting on your morning, you find it a little amusing.


You might be an artist if you have a jigsaw in your dining room.


CK Lunchbox said...

Ok, so I am laughing so hard especially after having a similar morning with the girls... at least thematically anyway. God forbid they actually poured their own cereal or picked up the pj's they tossed from their room into the hall for no particular reason. My list goes on too...

My favorite is the bulletin though with the public service announcement,

"If you have kids and don't know it..."

Kids will never let you forget they exist.

tammi said...

ha! That's funny!
You should make it a weekly installment. :)

Oh, and for what it's worth....your kids "clean" room would be MY kids "spotless room".

Sara said...


Sara LeeAnn said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sara LeeAnn said...

I'm so thrilled your brother referred me to your blog! What a refreshing,hilarious post! May I add one? You might be a parent if you are awakened by two tiny hands on the side of your face, and a hushed voice asking for pita chips and hummus - at 5:30 a.m. On a Saturday.

Heidi said...

hahahaha! I wouldn't have understood that 6 years ago. = ) I have a Josh post I've been meaning to sit down and write, but I haven't had the energy. It makes my head hurt just thingking about it.

Life with Kaishon said...

Oh my! SO funny : ). Even more funny for the mother of said children... The swastika thing- hilarious : ). You are a great Mom!

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