Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Blue again.

Well, friends....you know it's a sad and sorry Ness who doesn't blog. Seriously, a close friend called the other day and said, "All right, spill it. You aren't blogging. What's WRONG?"

The truth is, I feel like I've climbed up a high and treacherous mountain which has taken every ounce of strength I've got. And now, here at the top, with the amazing view and the breeze, quite honestly, all I wanna do is throw myself off the edge. I think maybe I'm just really tired, but it would be awesome if angels would show up and feed my family. I'm not hungry. It's too much work to eat.

It's all the changes, is all. I'll absorb them somehow and life will go on. For now, I've got a three day craft fair next weekend that I have done no prep for and the aftermath of being gone all last week to catch up on. I'm annoyed with myself for letting myself get so tired and frail. But no matter how much I want to, I can't seem to squeeze my own adrenaline gland and get moving. Maybe tomorrow.


Ron said...

Hey sis, you can only do so much. Take care of yourself first, whatever that is... Hang in their kiddo. Wish I was around to help ya.

Jess said...

Sorry Ness. How are the kids and hubby doing with all the changes?

ness said...

They're doing well. It helps that football practice got rained out tonight : ) Honestly, Robb's confidence in God is a huge help. If he was shaken, I don't know what I'd do.

I am trying to absorb your Tozer post....I understood what you meant by "gut writers."

yeah, I feel dumb for being down...I guess I might as well just be honest though, huh?

Heidi said...

I'm beginning to think this is common among 30-somethings. We were able to do it all in our 20's but didn't really wanting to. Now we want to do it all but have small children who need almost every ounce of energy we have available. Put it all together and you get depression and the inability to do anything when it all comes crashing down.

I've lowered my expectations of myself and it seems to help a little. Its amazing what a little more sleep will do too.

tammi said...

If you've reached the summit of the high and treacherous mountain with gorgeous views and a nice breeze...why throw yourself off? Why climb back down? Just rest and enjoy the view. Everything's waiting for you down below...climb back when you're ready - it'll still be there.

AT the risk of sounding cliche....here's a cliche: Hang in there. Things always roll back up. Eventually.

:) *hug*

Robb said...

I'll squeeze your adrenaline gland.

aem said...

if it makes you feel any better ,i'm right up there on that precipice next to you. let's hope tandem cliff diving isn't in our future. love you sis.

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