At coffee last night, we were confessing the crazy stuff we've had in our cars (not unlike the purse post).
Without looking, I can honestly say, there are about 5 Vintage Fellowship signs, a bunch of CD's we don't listen to and none of the ones we do, a phone book, maps of Memphis and Little Rock (but not here), a bag of tickets to Lokomotion we never cashed in, various shoes and socks, at least three coffee mugs, four million fast food restaurant toys, an extremely stinky car seat, raisins, and oh yeah...old insurance info because I keep forgetting to put the new insurance card thingy in the glove compartment.
This is a much more guy friendly post...so come on and fess up...what's a quick confession of what is in your car?
23 comments:
just cleaned out the car, but i'll tell you what i found.....
lots of pens/pencils
hand sanitizer
mileage log
gas receipts
power bars for homeless, hungry guys
many half-full bottles of water
towel for rainy-day lessons (in and out of the car)
lint roller
and...... stray almonds, french fries...
and a half-eaten...uhmmmm sandwich....under the seat....rigby found it last week....which prompted me to clean out the car...
john and i joke that my car is my version of monica's closet....
an kit that includes tylenol, hand sanitizer, chapstick, sissors, travel size sewing kit; a case of CD's though I only listen to one, by Chris Rice; 1 ink pen, a stroller, a car seat, a blanket for soccer games, and snow scrapper (unfortunately we need that year round here!!!) an ashtray full of pennies, and a change holder full of silver (I don't let anyone touch it, I like to keep it full for emergencies, used to be incase I needed a gallon of gas but gas is over $3.00 and my change holder doesn't hold that much!) I am pretty anal about messy cars. I clean it out everyday, even my kids cars I clean out! I wash mine once a week, sometimes twice in the winter, can't stand the salt! There you have it!
Sorry I couldn't make it last night. I hope you guys had fun!
okay, I've got a mom-mobile so you can just guess how many little plastic animals, dead french fries and missing goldfish crackers there are in my car. I've also got two water bottles (just in case, I think) maps of Pa and TN, a travel DVD player with a few episodes of the West Wing and whatever Disney movie; hand sanitizer, febreez, travel mugs with some potentially nasty amounts of rotten coffee in them, umbrella, full change of clothes for Dora, who's potty-training; and I think I've actually got a car jack and some of Ron's tools in the back that we salvaged from the crown vic, which died this summer in KY...overall, it's a collection of nearly-respondsible and fully expected stuff but it still drives me crazy and I wish I could be as disciplined as 12-arrows who apparently has the car I WISH I had :)
Loose change for the Toll Roads... a portfolio of various fake ID's... a Hoolla girl on the dash board and a bobble head dog in the back window... um, an "Idiot On Board" sign on one of the windows... a few secret compartments where I can hide Corillean spices when I get boarded by Imperial Storm Troopers...a large screw driver I use to jam into the steering column to start the car (I, uh, "lost" the keys), my ankle monitor braclet stashed under the seat next to my 9 mil... and lots and lots of empty crushed beer cans! Going to Mexico this weekend -yeah! Pray for me that I get over the boarder ok.
In my truck, besides my PD gear bag in the back seat and my 9mm in the dash holster (not kidding), I have nothing.
On my motorcycle, other than raingear and a couple of wrenches, nothing.
You people really need to get a grip . . .
For you Vintage-ites, brace yourselves for this Sunday. Faithful in little = faithful in much. Remember whose car it is that you're trashing . . . sorry, I'm in "sermon marinating" mode.
My wife's car on the other hand . . .
"Even a fool is considered wise when he is silent."
And you might want to get that current insurance card in the glove box, should either of you get stopped, that is a costly fine . . . just trying to save you the headache.
okay, about 30 pieces of mail that i had to shred at work....stale combos and fries, coffee soaked transcripts that should have went to my boss last June, kid's socks, but not a pair among them, but....i was hoping to find a lime green bra that has been missing since last spring. I had just cleaned it last nite, so I had a running total of things in the van.
Oh, let's see...
In addition to the usual garbage in the passenger compartment, I seem to have a vast assortment of maps of Tulsa and Oklahoma that I have no earthly use for anymore, until very recently a parody skit that some friends wrote ("Horses in the Attic"; although I think I had the older "Razorbellion" version), an old AC/DC cassette tape and a R.E.M tape (no decrepit, cheaply acquired domestic luxury car is complete without cassette tapes), two cup holders full of pennies, two empty breath mint containers, two full breath mint containers (I...umm...seem to be addicted to breath mints), generic ibuprofen, 3 years worth of old insurance papers (in addition to the up-to-date papers, "a"), an explanation on the correct formulation of transmission fluid I need to use to keep the transmission from burning up, my Bible, my portfolio (such as it is), a really cool rock I found, and a Chuck Palahniuk novel I keep forgeting to throw out.
In the trunk I have 4 or 5 walking sticks (one of which is from a dogwood that I cut by accident), a quarter cup of loose sugar (a long story), a 37 year old skil saw (also a long story), a vanity plate with the word "Peltablo" which some friends gave me that keeps getting knocked off, isopropyl alcohol, hydrogen peroxide, a...umm..."simple, edged vegetation removal device", a folding chair, 1 to 3 flashlights, some 8 month old Diet Sprite (it's not as bad as you might think), dried lavender, dried spearmint, a gym bag, gym gloves, work gloves, and some plastic cups.
I have also been known to transport/store my camera (until I discovered that the trunk will leak when it rains if it hasn't seated correctly), a chopping ax, a maul, a shovel, work shoes, a pair of pruners, and a chainsaw.
The oddest thing I've ever carried in the trunk, I suppose, is a lawnmower (yes, it's that capacious).
I keep telling my friends they need to get me on "Pimp my Ride" and have them convert my '95 Lincoln Towncar into something like an El Dorado or a truck. ;-)
Now, see, Matthew, my husband's from New Jersey where they--not kidding here--judge a trunk's size by the number of bodies you can fit inside. I thought it was a joke until an acquantaince looked in the trunk of our crown victoria once and mentioned how many bodies would fit inside.....so, how many bodies could fit in your trunk?
by the way, are you secretely a gardener or something? that's a lot of tools
Okay, I have to say that Aaron works 5 minutes away from work and I on the other hand work 35 minutes away and LIVE in my car!!! I can't even begin to list what's in my car but if it's needed on a daily basis, it's in my car. Aaron hates getting into my car but it could be worst; I could bring my crap into the house every night and overload the kitchen table.
~Jaye T.
Jaye T. is A a "pile maker?" little piles wherever he makes them of keys, pens and whatnot? I live with a "pile maker" and I'm thinking of starting a support group because it's making me CRAZY.
Courtney:
Two or three bodies with...ahem...minor "trimming". Six to eight "units" (depending on the size of the individuals in question) with total dismemberment and proper packing.
Mwa-hahahahaaa.... ;-)
Seriously, I don't really know; although, I would suspect more than one.
I've always figured the Towncar would be the perfect Mafia car because in addition to the style trim, comfortable interior, and roomy trunk, the trunk also has a mechanism that slowly pulls the hatch closed. I always figured it would be perfect for intimidating marks with threats of slowly crushing..."things." "The boss says you betta' talk, Guido, or there goes your pinky finger." "NOOOOO...".
As for what I do with all those tools. Well, I run this "service" on the side in which I discretely dispose of unwanted per--er, umm--"things"...that's right, "things"...for my clients (yeah, that's the ticket--play it cool...). ;-)
Actually, I have a modest bit of undeveloped hillside property (I'm an Ozark land-baron, donchya' know ;-) ) out in the middle of nowhere where I go to take nature photographs (some of which you can see if you go to my website) and camp with friends. I require the aforementioned tools to maintain accessibility during the course of the year and to clear out a new campground (we had to give up the old one due to a family dispute and the fact that a lot of it washed away in the last deluge) for us on my property.
I'm actually taking next week off and am hoping to get a lot done out there. How much I manage to accomplish remains to be seen, though.
I do have to be kind of careful when talking about my efforts locally as the only "gardening" usually done in that particular region is the highly illegal, unethical sort. We don't want anything that even remotely resembles a "garden" (particularly from the air) out there, which is sad because I have been tempted to plant some tomatoes.
Matthew, bahahaha :)
Yes, I'm familiar with what we call "southern horticulture" (spent 6 years in TN where the green stuff ain't money). I am still constantly amazed at how brazen some "gardeners" are...such as the 70 yr old grandmother that swore to the local law enforcement that her expansive crop kept bugs away....okay, sure.
My hubby used to keep all his tools in his crown vic because of our constant lack of storage space. He also used to get pulled over alot by undercover cops looking for "suspicious persons" (which somehow meant really skinny white boy driving a crown vic full of junk.) After several searches that ended in frustrated officers that couldn't possibly weed through all the crap hubby kept in his car, hubby went from being pulled over once every two weeks to not at all...I guess being a major packrat isn't even a misdemeanor.
seven seats,, one trash bag full of size 8-10 girls clothes from Old Navy , four coffee cups, books, atlas, gum, dirt, jumper cables--a REALLY GOOD SET, first aid/ER kit, shoes for me, coat for me, tae kwon do stuff, ziploc bag of 1)undies 2) ladies monthly needs 3) pair of pants, Cooler, with...drinks in it (all legal), pillow, blanket, Kids coat, phone charger, copy of "the Secret" book, change.
ALSO, a lot of Memories, transporting great kids, trips taken in it and LOVE.
Subaru Lesbian wagon inventory:
Carpentry tools.
Wood.
Boots.
Random Irish flag.
Various automotive fluids.
Rifles.
Bible.
Machiavelli's Art of War.
Selected Poems of Dylan Thomas.
Thucydides' Peloponnesian War.
IPod.
Klean Kanteen stainless steel water bottle.
Pile of crushed Coke cans the size of which is determined by the elapsed time have had attractive female passenger.
OK I MUST add what is NOT in my van.
Last week, a friend gave me a bunch of meat to take to a mutual adoptive mom whose husband had been killed.
WELL
I did
I thought I had gotten it all out
a few days later
I was sick, stuffed up,picked up kids from school, they complained about weird smell in car...
son was seeking refuge in the van (another story),
came in ...grossed out as only a 13 yr old boy can be that he had found a pound of hamburger ROTTEN smelling in the van.
heh heh...OOPS. It must have rolled out of the bag under the seat. heh heh.
I've done something similar to that, D. only it was cottage cheese that rolled out of a grocery bag during some Tennessee heat and I didn't get that smell out for weeks and weeks...nasty.
Y: I'm intrigued by the random Irish flag...is that just in case you're at a "football" game and don't want to be trampled or in case you need your ID for a night of drinking?
Ok so of course there is like a little Candice library in the front seat which STILL holds Mudhouse Sabbath, another book about an arranged marriage, the paperback "Mr. Monk Goes to Hawaii", Arlo's brown pants, french fries, squeezed out yogurt tubes, worship tapes and an ols school tape of REM, three unused diapers, several magazines, Ivy's elliptical circle from Girl Scouts
and more food detritus than we should conceivably go through between vaccums.
I pick the kids up from school, and if I feel the beast is overflowing, I will vaccum the sliding door entrance the kids are going to clamor through, and dump all the trash I can on the way. (there is a car wash on the way)
I have also been known to spray some New Car Smell in the sucker!
I forgot... a can of tomato soup and three priority mail boxes, a melted set of jumper cables that somebody who needed to borrow them put on backwards and now...
A bunch of Vintage receipts and a bag of construction garbage left over from the music hall to take to the BCS dumpster...sometime...
I'm not the one trashing God's car, A. I'm pretty sure all the ministry I do for him is trashing it!!!
This post has made me laugh...especially the lesbian wagon and Ron's Hula girl, et al...which is totally made up, may I add, because he frequently has attractive passengers....
12 Arrows..hats off to you! You completely smashed my excuse for having a dirty car because of the kids...
And the rest of you, please don't store any bodies in your car...dismembered or otherwise...that could really stink things up...
Who would store dead bodies in a trunk (well, in the trunk of a car that still runs)? That's just silly. The key word here is "transport."
Besides that's what the herbs are for--there's nothing like freshly grown mint and lavender to mask dubious odors.
Now where did I put that darn sharpener..."work" is piling up.
;-)
Matthew, do you have family in New Jersey by any chance? :)
Not that I know of.
If I were going to be a part of any Mafia-type thing, it would probably have to be a Finnish variant (my last name is actually a hard to explain derivation of "Munsikaamaki"), assuming there is such a thing.
According to my half brother-in-law (who told me this to aggravate my half-sister--he was a bit of a character), my father was a contractor of some sort for the city of Duluth. He managed to cheat his business partner out of their company but was unable to resist his ex-partner's successful efforts to reclaim the company in question. My father supposedly left the area in a hurry and was always very secretive and cautious when he visited Duluth. There was an implication that he had been made an offer he couldn't refuse.
That is about as close as anybody in my family came to being a part of an organized crime family, and it was in actuality probably just a bit of minor chicanery from an unaffiliated faction (like I said, my half brother-in-law was a character who liked to embellish things).
On my mother's side, my grandfather had a cousin who was a bankrobber, another cousin who was a professonal gambler (complete with a deringer he kept up his sleeve), and I had some great, great uncles who supposedly participated in a vigilance committee after the Civil War. I might have had some other relatives participate in vigilance committees (none more recent than 3 generations back, though); although, nobody talks much about such things (they usually had to be drunk or dying), and--needless to say--there aren't any written records referring to such activities either. My grandfather made moonshine (not an uncommon pastime for the men in the area), but it was mostly for his own consumption (he was "just a bit" of a drunk), and he was never caught at it.
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