Saturday, May 19, 2007

Sick of Myself



You don’t know how you move me
Deconstruct me
And consume me
I’m all used up
I’m out of luck
I am starstruck
By something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive

But I’m sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that’s ugly and a lie
It’s hard to even want to try
And I’m beginning to think baby you don’t know

I’ll take or leave
The room to breathe
The choice to leave you
I’ll throw away
A chance at greatness
Just to make this
Dream come into play, I don’t know if I’ll find a way

’cause I’m sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that’s ugly and a lie
It’s hard to even want to try
And I’m beginning to think baby you don’t know
I’m beginning to think baby you don’t know

There’s something in your eyes that is keeping my hope alive
But I’m sick of myself when I look at you
Something is beautiful and true
In a world that’s ugly and a lie
It’s hard to even want to try
And I’m beginning to think baby you don’t know
I’m beginning to think baby you don’t know


Bowling for Soup might have sung this about a girl, but I'm pretty sure that this is the very cry of my soul...and what I can only hope that Heaven will be...a release from how absolutly sick I am ....of me.

8 comments:

Robb said...

I am not sick of you.

Amber said...

Ditto -- to your words.

Ditto -- to Robb.

klasieprof said...

sick of what?
by being "generalized" of course you are going to be sick of yourself...its just too damn much to tackle.
Pick one thing...change that...IF you are supposed too...if GOd is urging you too..and because you THINK you should...
Things I"m sick of ME for...
Being lazy
YElling
Swearing after all these years of trying to quit. I'm not going to try to quit anymore. I said jackass in church today..and giggled inside as I kept a straight face.
Can we says things we LIKE about you?
I like about Ness:
YOU always have different hair...not afraid to try something new.
YOU get that funky weird glasses for people, can be like Pink Flamingos--taken seriously or be laughed at.
You...are willing to take a risk...ok..somewhat controlled risk but every ONCE in a while ...You DO take a risk!!!
You can love a dog that is a pain..! LOL
You can see the beauty in Brokenness...like me.
You get that gruffness and swearing do not reflect what is really trying to grow inside.
You are real.
I could go on and on..but I have tears in my eyeballs..so for now..I'm done.
you are loved.
so shut the fuck up about being sick of your dang self. belly up and do something different.

klasieprof said...

NOT because you think you should...is what it should have read.

ness said...

Donna...I love you.

I love you other two goofballs too.

I moved the furniture. It helped.

Amy said...

You know, "they" say that people who paint things all black are geniuses.

For now, that's all I've got...

Except that, I think you're cool and I don't really even know you. Of course, that doesn't mean that you ARE cool and it doesn't necessarily make you like yourself any better today.

You make me smile quite often and I check out your blog everyday. I feel a kinship b/c we're both wives "in the ministry" and you've made me see that pastor's wives are real people--never met one like you...you alien. :0)

I'm thinking...

Moving the furniture--such a metaphor for life.

Just small changes make a big difference...just a spontaneous idea--go cut your bangs or dye your hair pink...or both--cool!

Amy said...

Donna-
If you were in my class, I probably would have giggled too except that I wouldn't have been able to stop. I would have been shaking all thru class, in intervals, as I lost control and then gained it back, only to lose it again.

The word, "jackass" always cracks me up. It conjures up pictures in my head of all sorts of them that I've known and those stupid idiots on the Jackass Show.

Do you have funky glasses? Just bought myself a pair recently. Polka Dot--risky for me.

I KNEW I shouldn't have drank that huge coffee so late! I can't shut up.

ness said...

Amy, because I really have to take a shower and get on with my day, I must simply say...

Ditto.

: )

Blogging tips