Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Labor Day: I'm not a fan

You know how on Friends, Chandler hates Thanksgiving?

I think that's how I feel about Labor Day. It's a worthless, frustrating holiday. Topping out the worst Labor Days ever was when we lived in NYC and we were robbed...not just robbed, but literally "the perp took a dump on the floor" to quote the rookie cop at the 123 Precinct. I know that between the drug-addict thief putting on our New Life Island Christian Camp T-shirt and our Lesbian neighbors both named Liz being witnesses and my actual underwear being left in the driveway by the thief, it has a certain comedy attached to it. But that's because time heals...

Its going to take me awhile to get over yesterday too. Robb had to work all day, so I basically declined to treat the day like a holiday. Instead, I had a pile of ebay work to do, which mainly involved dismantling two Danish Modern lounge chairs and packing them to ship. I got partway through the project and realized that one of the coil supports was missing.

Long story short, my children and their friends next door were playing and one of the six of them decided it was a good idea to remove one of the coils and play with it. Yes, that's right, as in "Let's take one of the parts out of the antique, made in Yugoslavia, unique and unreplaceable chair that mom sold for 200 dollars." Of course, my children know that touching any of my ebay stock is strickly verboten, but none of them thought to come and tell me about it either. I inquired with the neighbors and they "have no idea" where it could be, though one kid told me one story and told her mother a completly different one and my two are more than likely too small and too weak to have pulled the coil off. Hours of looking for it led me to research online where I might find a replacement. No dice. They aren't made anymore. I have tried to contact the buyer with no success. Meanwhile, I need a very Cosby-esque consequence to meet out to my children. And I'm not too happy with the neighbors either. I think the word I'm searching for here is LIVID.

Yeah, as far as I'm concerned, Labor Day could be erased from the calendar for good. I'm pefectly happy to squeeze in my last picnic the day before the kids go back to school.

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