Friday, March 03, 2006

The Absurdity of the Rhetorical Question


The answers to rhetorical questions are absolutley hilarious when you think about it.

For example, I got this one from customer who recieved a damaged box yesterday.

"Do you even know how to pack fragile items?"

Well, actually, sir, if you must know....I got 800 plus positive feedback sending out glass in paper bags. Everybody else just bought the insurance and we have a huge plan to defraud the Post Office, but you apparently didn't get the memo.

Feel free to post your favorite rhetorical questions. Let me get you started....

"Do you want something to cry about????"


klasieprof said...

" Do you want more spinich?"

"WHO broke the ______ " fill in the blank

"who drank the last of the Milk?"

"Who didn't flush?"

klasieprof said...

just got this in an email...
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?

Why do we say something is out of whack? What's a whack?

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.

When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person that drives a race car is not called a racist?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one?

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call the resulting company Fed UP?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. Then it dawned on me..... they're cramming for their final exam.

If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the others here for?

How come no one ever says, "It's only a game" when their team is winning?

Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

klasieprof said...

"do you EVEN KNOW the meaning of LOVE?"

"Do you want me to SMACK you??"

courtney said...

"what's your problem?" or also "what's wrong with you?"
There's also "Are you gonna finish that?"

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