Biblical Remembering

I admit that I went to church last night exhausted, unprepared and frankly depressed. I've been sinking down into a low place for the last week, and couldn't seem to make myself do anything about it. I don't know if its hormones, a week of eating ham, or just everything being different this year, but I have been blue....walk around in your pajamas for three days, sleep too much, stare at the walls...blue.

Fellowship Bible Church has been good to us. That's an understatement. (I'm better at understatement than overstatement) Last night, the music was just amazing...It's so wonderful to have music that speaks to your soul...to your emotions...that engages you and lets you feel something. For so long, evoking that emotion was my job and I stood outside of it and hoped that it was happening for everyone but me.

Then, the pastor (who just found out that his wife is pregnant and their youngest of 4 is 12!) explained how in the Bible, remembering is always done in the context of not just looking back, but also looking forward in hope for the future. He encouraged us to write down all that has happened in the last year ...my little page was overflowing. The band played "My Redeemer is Faithful and True."

Then he encouraged us to dream for the next year what God might do. We celebrated Communion. The band led us in "How Deep the Father's Love for Us" and then went on to play more celebrational and upbeat songs that encouraged us to hope in faith for the next year.

I went last night feeling low, and God blessed me with Truth I desperately needed in a way that engaged my emotions, my fears, my losses, my dreams for the future and my faith. It was a powerful experience and an excellent way to start the new year. I have new energy and resolve to do what He wants me to do. For the first time since I was probably 10 or 11 years old, I didn't stay up to watch the ball drop. It could be I'm getting old, but I think that I just felt like I had already gotten what I needed to start 2006.