Angels....or something very much like them...

Yesterday, the window man came and fixed a broken window. Phyllis left a check here for me to give him.

Charles winterized the hose-hook ups.

The car was is still in the shop and Charles and Phyllis loaned us theirs.

They inquired about how are house selling was going. "You can stay as long as you need to", they said.

Today, Phyllis came to put up Christmas lights and decorations. She named the two angels she put up "Mattie & Vinny."

Funny, I call them Charles and Phyllis.

What I'm for

This was a conversation that the guys had early-on regarding Vintage Fellowship....Christians are so often known for what they are against. ...aka drinking, dancing, smoking, immorality, movies, immodesty, etc. etc.

We would rather be known for what we're for.

Here's just a few things....

I'm for grace.
I'm for irony.
I'm for beauty.
I'm for truth.
I'm for laughter.
I'm for kids.
I'm for friends.
I'm for purpose.
I'm for forgiveness.
I'm for growth.
I'm for change.
I'm for simplicity in complexity.
I'm for love.
I'm for what works.
I'm for fixing what doesn't.
I'm for being patient.
I'm for screwing up.
I'm for honesty.
I'm for humility.
I'm for need.
I'm for depth.
I'm for optimism.
I'm for mourning.
I'm for dancing.
I'm for feasting.
I'm for fasting.
I'm for good timing.

and oh, yeah,

I'm for dogs.

Becoming

You know that anticipatory feeling you have when you get a new magazine? Can you recall the smell of the new, shiny pages? You know how you make a special cup of coffee and curl up on the couch and just savor it? (If you are a guy, I know you take your magazines OTHER places too).

Now, when's the last time you felt that way about reading your Bible?

No...this is NOT a guilt trip. I don't do guilt.

(I've just had a weekend of company and holiday with wall-to-wall beds and non-stop eating and the floor crawling with toddlers. You can guess how much Bible reading I got in.)

I'm talking about this great thing my hubby got for me (Christmas present number 2 that he couldn't wait to give me). It's called "Becoming" and it is the Bible (or large chunks of it) in the form of a magazine. I LOVE it! The edition I have is the wisdom literature. They use the New Century Version, which is very easy to read and very fresh. This is not a study Bible, but rather, a Bible for reading. The format is very engaging and they have lots of side-bars and boxes of little topical devotional type stuff....emotions, love, infertility, money, etc. It also includes little fun facts and quizzes. Apparently, they have them for guys too in formats that are appealing to them. I've already read some "grumpy pants" reviews from Christians who find it appalling (which made me like it all the more), but the proof is in the pudding....I sat on the couch this morning with my cup of coffee and read about 20 chapters of Job. And I can hardly wait to finish it.

The Truth is...

Okay, so I've already revealed a number of things about myself here on the blog that have likely freaked people out. But once the cork comes out of the bottle, it all comes gurgling out....so here's another little splash....

I hate Christian music.

I don't listen to Christian radio. I don't buy a lot of cd's. If the first thing I hear about a new cd is that it's Christian, I probably won't be interested. There are some Christian artists that I am open to because they have built up credibility by actually producing both music and lyrics that show a modicum of talent, staying power or freshness. But there aren't that many.

(If you want to know why I hate Christian radio and Christian music, feel free to ask me because I'm not actually going to write anymore about it here....it's not the point. )

So that being said, I want to write about the new CD that my husband bought for me that was supposed to be a Christmas present but he just couldn't wait (Poopsie). It's Robbie Seay Band "Better Days" and the reason Robb knew I would like it was because Don Miller (Through Painted Deserts) recommends them. Of course, I realize I'm jumping on a bit of a bandwagon, but I will say that it's one of those CD's that lifts you out of yourself and breaks your heart it's so beautiful. I'd call it a cross between Dave Matthews Band and maybe Jars of Clay...but more talented.

So far my favorite song on this cd is "Breathing Air Again" and I'm going to bore you with the lyrics...feel free to stop reading right now because they won't mean much without the moody music behind it...bless them for not trying to be cheerful...


Take the time to start a new
Maybe it's in front of you
Take the time to walk down your street
And heaven knows who you might meet
Take the time to be okay
And laugh a bit along the way
You could take me for a ride
We could just drive all day

And we could breathe again
Step outside our front door
And gaze upon the stars
And know we're not alone
So run into the fields
Scream louder than you can
It's good to be alive
And breathing air again.

Take the time to stop and stare
Heaven's beauty everyhere
Take the time to think about
Someone else besides yourself
Take the time be okay
And laugh a bit along the way
You could take me for a ride
We could just drive all day.

Maybe you wouldn't like it. It's very hopeful and honest and free. They affirm our sinfullness and how great it is to be hidden in grace. They don't try to say it all.

"Here come better days...."

A moment's peace

Happiness is a butterfly...and in this particular moment, I am perfectly happy. I know that this moment won't last...somebody will come in yelling that somebody else was being bossy or the dog will start barking about the other dog that came into view or somebody will come in and tell me for the hundredth time that he is hungry.

Yep...it just happened. But I can remember that moment and look forward to the next one, when I can just take a deep breath and know that this moment won't last, but it tastes so good. That moment tells me what heaven on earth could be like. It makes eternity seem much more interesting and desireable and rich.

For Grandma

Here's some pics just for Grandma

Happy Turkey Day

Well, in the vein of Matt Book's "we got the flu for thanksgiving" tale, here's a play by play...

12:30 a.m. - 3:30 a.n. Slept occasionally while darling neice Dora (age 21 months) vocalized her displeasure about her sleeping arrangements. Felt badly for her mom and dad. Been there.

7:30 a.m. awoke to knowledge that I was already behind...must...stuff...turkey....

8:00 a.m. Stuffing made, bird stuffed, put in oven. What's for breakfast? Cheescake, carrot cake, or chex mix?

8:15 a.m. Sis uses last paper towel in the house.

11:30 a.m. Peel potatoes.

11:35 a.m. Potato peels clog disposal, resulting in dishwasher water backing up.

11:40 a.m. Take pipes apart looking for clog. ALL the dishwasher drain-water comes flying out.

11:41 a.m. Realize the only towels in this house (that we don't own btw) are crisp, fluffy, gleaming white. Can't bring myself to use them to sop up mess.

11:45 a.m. Brother in law Ron to the store to get draino while hubby googles disposal troubleshooting. Sister tries to get exhausted baby to sleep in the next room.

11:46 a.m. Water shoots out of the trap in the attic, resulting in water dripping down from the ceiling on Sister putting baby to bed. Did I mention we just stay in the house?

11:48 a.m. Lose my head, running through the house shrieking "We broke the house! We broke the house!"

11:49 a.m Run across yard, over gravel driveway in socks (did I mention that my ankle is sprained?), pound on neighbors' door in polite gesture (since I already know she isn't home), then steal her ladder from side of house.

11:52 a.m. Hubby and I shimmy up ladder to attic while Sister keeps four small kids from climbing up after us.

11:55 a.m. Realize that leak is over, no broken pipes and not sure after all if we can put 2 extra bedrooms up here, so maybe we shouldn't buy the house afterall? But then again, we did just wreck the place, so maybe we should? Contemplate other housing situations and squarefootage vs. price and location....Realize afresh we have nothing to sop up water....

12:05 p.m. Resume preparation of feast awaiting Draino and paper towels.

12:35 p.m. Draino, paper towels and bananas appear. Mess cleaned up. Fixin's prepped.

1:30 p.m. Turkey appears from oven looking like scene from Norman Rockwell illustration.

2:00 p.m. Express thanks while emptying plates full of real good stuff (except the gravy)

2:30 p.m. Triptofan and wine kick in.

3:00 p.m. Attempt to eat pie, cake, cheesecake. So drowsy.

6:00 p.m. Babies begin to fall asleep.

7:30 p.m. Babies in beds.

8:00 p.m. Break out the chex mix.

9:00 p.m. Say we should go to bed while exchanging stories about broken bones.

10:30 p.m. Actually go to bed. Pick up article I almost finished.

11:00 p.m. Begin drooling on Rolling Stone's article on Bono.

11:15 p.m. Lights out.

I was SO lost

With all of the out-of-control-discussion about "other things" on the blog, I haven't had a chance to blog about this weekend, which was frankly, pretty amazing on many levels.


On Saturday, I dropped Robb off at work and planned to meander home via the scenic route, stopping at any sales we saw. We found a great auction, but prices were going pretty high and the temperature was dropping, so we left early. Stopped at another sale and bought a great faux suede vintage jacket...nice and warm! Next, the AR council of the blind thrift shop. Good prices, not so great junk. And then we proceeded to get VERY lost. I've been displaced before, unfamiliar with where I was, alittle off the beaten track....this is not the case. I was lost....like the time my brother and I got lost in the woods and he vowed with tears that "we're going to die out here." Okay, so maybe not THAT bad, but the engine light was on, we were running out of gas, and the "paved" road I was on gave way to a dirt road, which gave way to a cow path, which, after passing some very unsavory individuals (who were smoking ???) who I opted to NOT ask for directions, gave way to a creek bed. I am not joking...if it had been in the dark, I would have driven into the river. Whereupon, I turned around, backtracked, and finally came out in a circular direction from where I originally turned.

After much prayer and fasting, we made it into a town I recognized by dark. It was an adventure and I learned that roads here are not like in MI...I will be more careful in the future.

These are some of the more intersting places I saw along the way....

I don't beleive this...

I just got up out of my chair and I was sitting on my foot, which rendered it asleep and I didn't realize it and when I stood up, it rolled underneath me and I heard something snap....it hurts so bad my teeth are chattering....

i didn't swear.

The Christian Cuss

Little did Thomas Crapper know what he was doing when he made his invention: not only did he come up with the first flushing toilet, he also gave his name to the most popular Christian cuss word right now. I guess we can use it because it can't really be traced back to anything having to do with Satan (Although a good friend of our always said that he was giving birth to a demon when he used the bathroom)....It's in Don Miller's books, and all over the blogs, and even on my sweet little daughters' lips, as in "Mom, did you get the good turkey or the "crab" turkey for Thanksgiving?" (She over heard me telling hubby about my internal debate over the Jenny-O (crap) turkey for 68 cents a pound or the Butterball (I guess good) for 98 cents a pound). I guess until the kids are a little older, we'll have to switch over to the more Biblical greek....scubalon.

excuse me, i have to change a scubalony diaper.

Of Emerging Church and Infant Cannibalism

Head on over the the grenz for a hilarious conversation

How Often is Jesus with You

Was reading Josh's blog... a very masculine, artsy and X-y blog from a brilliant and somewhat tortured soul....his post about prayer was refreshing. It reminded me a of a question I've been meaning to ask for awhile....

How often do you actually feel Jesus is with you?

I don't mean when are you mentally convinced and, in faith, believing that he is with you....I mean, how often do you feel like he is actually there with you and that you could just have a conversation?

I have to be honest and say that this is a new phenonema for me. I have known so much about Jesus for so long, and heard what other people say about Him, and tried to feel what modern hymns say they feel, but in all honesty, I don't often feel that close to Him. It is becoming more frequent, but I wonder if I am alone in this.

I think that part of the reason for this is that for a long time, I kind of felt like Jesus was like my pastor: Growing up and in college, I felt that they were nice people who liked me and would listen if I had a problem, but that I couldn't actually be myself around them or that they didn't really know ME. I certainly didn't want to just hang out with him. To talk slang, wear sweats, make jokes. I didn't think that he would approve. Of course I wasn't hiding these things from Jesus, I just had my game face on when I prayed or read my Bible or taught in Church. I was raised to IMPRESS, and I guess I was trying to just show Him my good side and leave my real self out of it.

9 years of marriage to my Pastor has taught me a lot, and has recast who Jesus is completely. Turning 30 helped a lot too. Leaving an established church behind didn't hurt either. For the first time in my life, I think I actually have a relationship with Jesus. I think I sense his presence more because I don't mind being myself around Him. I'm not planning on meeting him "In the Garden," but I do have a joy and a peace that I didn't previously have. I wasn't consciously holding back on Him before, but being wholehearted with Him is a new and amazing experience.

Letting go of Baby

There has been some discussion in this household lately about whether or not I should repair "Baby," Vin's longtime transitional object. Baby no longer has his arms and his head is hanging onto his blanket body by mere threads. I have great compassion for this stinky blue bear/blanket, but I also don't want to further empower Baby. I'm not sure, but I believe Baby has begun to cross the line into being an imaginary friend, which would only give him more staying power. (How sad we were when Curtsy and the Stinker left center state in Mattie's world).

Robb thinks I should sew him up and I think that I should just let him go and see what Vin says...if he's not traumatized by Baby's disabilities, then I don't want to make a big deal of it. So far, one of Baby's arms is in the fridge with Vin's Halloween candy and one is stuck in an endless cycle of being popped into the washer/dryer with a pile of clothes.

'fess up now...who's got a blanky on their bed? And let's leave Cynthia, Spubby and John Elbow out of this conversation. (They know who they are).

Through Painted Deserts, Don Miller's New Old Book

Robb got me this book for my birthday and I have not finished it, because I am savoring it. For me, Don Miller's books are like getting a new set of eyeballs to see things that I have always sensed were there, but I couldn't quite bring them into focus.

Through Painted Desserts is Miller's first book re-released with a new title (I personally liked Prayer and the Art of Volkswagon Maintenance better) and is saving me the trouble of making a cross country trip to find myself...wait...maybe not. At least it is saving me from sleeping in the back of my car.

I like to eat salty, buttery popcorn with peanut M&M's. The contrast of the salty and sweet is just right. That is the way that Miller writes....one minute salty and critical, the next minute sweet and self-deprecating. As a kid, one of the things that I loved about LM Montgomery (of Green Gables fame) was that she wrote unashamedly about what it felt like to melt for the beauty of a place. Don Miller brings that feeling back for me in "Through Painted Deserts."

The timing of this book is no accident. It is where I live right now. Here's an exerpt...

"And so my prayer for you is that your story will have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born inside of you, about learning to love a woman or a man, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God. We get one story, you and I , and one story alone. God has established the elements, the setting and the climax, and the resolution. It would be a crime not to venture out, woudn't it?

It might be time for you to go. It might be time to change, to shine out.
I want to repeat one word for you:
Leave

Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It is a beautiful word, isn't it? So strong and forceful, the way you have always wanted to be. And you will not be alone. You have never been alone. Don't worry. Everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who will have changed."

Sid at Work

We went out looking at houses yesterday, stopped for some more ant killer (!), and when we came home, found about 20 cows in our field/yard. This amused Robb a great deal and he went to get the camera. Then we let Sidney out because she is part border collie and loves to herd the cows. She is a little nervouse at first, because let's face it, they are a lot bigger than she is, but then she gets going and finds out....it's FUN.

It was not quite as amusing when we wanted to go to bed last night and Sid kept growling at them while they came up to the house and drank from the tadpole pond.

This morning, we let her out again at them, and she found a little calf, not a lot bigger than she is. She was not at all certain about what to do about this thing....until she got it to run....so she chased it!

A few minutes later, the owner came driving down on his ATV and herded them back into their side. So I guess that is the end of our cow chasing for the day.

Hmmm....we should have gone cow tipping last night!!!! That would officially make me a red-neck wouldn't it?

Laundry on Sunday

kissed a boo boo, ate a couple gumdrops, thought some more about the grouchy thing and it really hit me...as I was changing the laundry.

I used to have a little rule for myself...I didn't do laundry on Sunday. It wasn't a legalistic, keeping the Sabbath kind of thing....just a way that Sunday was special. I didn't work on eBay. I didn't help Mattie with school stuff. I always made a big Sunday dinner. I didn't feel guilty about sitting around all afternoon.

We went to Saturday night service last night because we kind of prefer it, but I was getting some coffee and a guy came up while I was getting mine and made a joke about needing the regular, not the decaf....and he looked like Doug...I just smiled blankly...

I miss my old life. I miss having a great purposeful activity that our whole week was oriented to. I miss meeting my groggy friends in the kitchen at church, stealing coffee that hadn't even made it into the pot yet. I miss making an effort to NOT be grouchy for all those who would be. I miss not doing laundry on Sunday. I miss sitting around on Sunday afternoon after having a really good meal, talking with Joel and Shari, wearing my apron. I miss the kids being clean on Saturday night. I miss the order and rhythm it all created. I hate it that Robb has to work on Sundays. Yeah, yeah, he worked on Sundays before....but you know what I mean.

I woke up grouchy this morning because I wanted this day to be special in some way, but at 6:30, the cartoons were on, the laundry was piled sky high, and I didn't really appreciate the fact that "we didn't have do anything today." I can't come up with a good reason to put off the things I don't normally do on Sundays. But I hate doing them.

I've wanted to blog all day....

I've been trying to sit down and write all day, but I can't seem to have a point. Unless you call being remarkably, ridiculously grouchy for absolutely no reason at all, having a point. An edge maybe, not a point.

Let's explore the grouchy thing a bit: I have observed that I wake up grouchy for any of the following reasons:
I have to get up too early.

I have slept in too long and now half the day is gone.

I don't know what I want to do with this day.

I do know what I want to do, but I don't really want to do it.

I was awake half the night worrying about spiders, snakes or bankruptcy.

One of the kids woke me up with a bad dream about spiders, snakes, or lately, Great Horned Owls.

Robb is too cheerful.

Robb thinks he is grouchier than me.


Who else is not a morning person? why do you wake up grouchy?

I got all 6 sets today!

I don't know if you tried out the game I link to earlier, but I finally got all six sets today!

an interesting animal day

Woke up this morning around 6:30 to the sound of a forty pound pin ball banging around...a few groggy moments later a black and white furball streaked through our bedroom, through the tv room and down the hallway toward the kitchen. Turns out, a cat had found it's way into Sid's yard, and she was headed out for the call of nature and caught sight of this rather substantial feline, chased it under the house....thus the pinball game....and then the cat ran IN the doggy door (also a kitty door apparently). Robb stopped Sid as she came through the doggy door and I found the cat on our kitchen counters looking for snacks.

Later in the afternoon, I looked out to see Hank the Horse wandering around. I called our hosts and they said it was fine unless he was bothering us. They also said to expect him to come right up to the windows....which he did. The kids got a huge kick out it and Hank had many carrots.

Yeah, I like it here.

okay, so maybe it's a little bit fun

I was at a flea market today digging through boxes of stuff and came across a pair of dentures. Thought about screaming and jumping around all freaked out and then my "higher" nature ruled and I bought them. I figured they were probably pretty expensive in the first place and maybe they would be a cool novelty item to sell. I can't actually bring myself to touch them, which will make them hard to list.

Why eBay isn't any fun anymore....

So, I got an alert in my MY EBAY page telling me that four of my auctions had been suspended because I failed to submit to the Paypal usage agreement. Turns out, it is now illegal to state that you don't take credit cards, but that they can just do a cash transfer via paypal. The reason that it is a big deal is that lots of people like to use a cash transfer and it is really easy and slick...it just comes right out of your bank account....like an E-Check. But if you upgrade to a Premiere account and take credit cards, Paypal (a subsidiary of eBay) gets 2.5 percent of the amount of every transaction, PLUS a flat rate fee for using the service. Take my little clothes auctions today...I would have lost the nearly 5 percent to ebay with fees, listing etc, plus another 2.5 percent to paypal, plus what it cost in the first place....it's an absolute waste of time and energy. I'm so annoyed. Add to that a couple of really lousy customers I've had recently, and quite frankly....it isn't much fun anymore. Too bad I went to a flea market and came home with four boxes of junk to sell. I feel like just chucking the whole dumb thing.

Great Job Vinny!

Just finished my TV Guide auctions, which brought in 97 dollars. Not bad for the dollar we spent on the whole box. The Batman issue that he wanted to keep, btw, was not worth much and is worth even less now that Charleigh has ripped the covers off.

An Update

Sorry for the long wait on the update, but I woke up in the night feeling lousy, took some nyquil....turned out it was four in the morning: )

So......He did NOT forget. He was playing it cool in the morning because he was trying to get some plans together, but Vin was sick with a fever all day yesterday and whisking me away was not going to work.....So I have a date on Friday.

Also, He did something I always wanted.....He and the kids made me a birthday cake. He isn't a fan of cake, so always kinda skipped over that part before, but I like it for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

So, I got the new Don Miller book, which I am going to love, Chris Rice and David Crowder Band. My parents sent the most adorable toolbox, which I love....it has this little bitty hammer : ) Also, my new Country Living magazine came in the mail...a great excuse to sit still while the kids took a bath in the cake batter.

Turned out to be a pretty nice evening and I couldn't have been happier.

Yeah, he's still the best.

Did he forget or is He trying to fake me out???

Today is my 31st birthday (yes, yes, congratulations, I'm old.) Robb is off to work and didn't say a thing to me this morning about it. He has never EVER forgotten a special day in the 13 years I have known him. So I put it to you, friends....let's have a little poll....did he forget, or is he yanking me around?

Evidence for forgetting: He is very busy, and is getting the hang of two new jobs. He is rarely online and has never been one for checking the calendar. He has, in the past, occasionally mixed up my day with his Grandma Valentine's birthday, which is the 8th. Asked me what I had planned for the day, and didn't say, "Oh honey, nobody should have to clean the filthy house, do three loads of laundry and list on ebay on their birthday." I'm a little tiny bit PMSy and he wouldn't dare mess with me.

Evidence for yanking me around: He was very wound up this morning and kept telling me how much he loves me and how great I am. Which, he would know would be very annoying to me if he thought that I thought he had indeed forgotten my birthday. Asked me what I had planned for the day, and said, "Yeah, the house really is a mess isn't it?"

What's your vote?

Okay, I'm hooked

Cathy, finder of all things fun, had a link to this fun game called "SET" on her blog. Not surprisingly, it is a good workout for your brain. Enjoy!

Famous Dave's...Fan-freakin'-tastic BBQ

I think I have a new favorite restaurant. We went to Famous Dave's BBQ today after church and it was amazing. One, it was nice to have a different selection of food, other than the latest combo from Applebees. And two, it was just great food: I had a Texas Brisket sandwich with their Texas style BBQ sauce (there are six to choose from on the table); I took a risk and ordered the potato salad on the side....good risk. It was nearly as good as my friend, Don's. Also came with these sweet pickles that you thought were just sweet and then they reach out and smack the inside of your mouth with red-pepper HOT. Crazy good food. Next time, I plan to try the "sammy" Memphis style...with slaw on top. Robb had a platter of ribs and he didn't even offer me any....that means they were too good to share with ME, she who bore his children. So, come visit and we'll take you to FD's.

How Ants Keep House

We have an out of control ant problem here at Hollyhock House. I killed on crawling on Robb's back in bed this morning. I frequently find them crawling up my arm where my hand has been resting on the mouse while I sit at the computer. And of course, they are all over my kitchen counters. I had to fight them back when I made cookies last week.

But, I will say this....Having ants everywhere keeps me from ever leaving the dirty dishes. And I sweep the floors religiously every day. We don't eat in front of the tv (too many crummies). And I wash the kids toothpaste out of their sink twice a day.

If it weren't for the ants, I'd probably go back to my slovenly ways. So, even though I bought some 7-dust yesterday, I think I'll wait another week or two until my habits are formed before I kill all those industrious little buggers.

More on Truth

I haven't stopped thinking over the discussion about absolute truth....which really does make folding laundry, emptying the dishwasher, and changing diapers seem much more academic.

I fully believe that Jesus embodies Absolute Truth. I believe the Bible gives us everything we need for life and godliness. I don't believe the Bible gives us ammunition to be the supreme authority on every issue. I also believe that every human being reading the Bible (or writing it for that matter) is/was wearing glasses that color what we see there. Which means that we have to maintain humility about what we say is "true."

I'm still thinking....

Necessity is the mother of invention

We literally tried to skip Halloween this year. 1: the costumes I had so frugally bought during the summer at garage sales are deep in the storage unit. & 2: where would we go?

So we tried to just let the thing pass without the kids notice.

Unfortunatly, our neighbor spilled the beans, and though I tried just offering the kids a trip to walmart to pick out two bags of their favorite candy, they wailed like I was going to lop off the head of their teddy bears.

Of course, by that time, it was Sunday night and there was no way in heck I was going to BUY costumes (again!). So here's what we decided on...

A hippie...which she kept asking what they are, and we kept dancing around it because quite frankly, how do you explain that to a first grader? She looks just like my mom 35 years ago.

Clark Kent: had the superman pj shirt (with no matching bottoms) and sacrificed one of my fourteen pairs of sunglasses.

Razorback fan...because who could resist her....PLUS, no goofy hat or mask to make her keep on.

And we went to the mall, which was frankly crawling with kids, but it was warm, dry and light...very nice for little ones. The added bonus was that they don't give out much candy...lots of penny stuff, tootsies and such, so not nearly as much junk around here to share with the ants (and add to our middles).